My bf(M27) and I (F25) recently had a baby. It was a pretty traumatic experience for me and it's taken me a bit to recover from it mentally. I felt like he was hiding something on his phone from me for the past day or so. I found a conversation he had with another woman where I guess you can say he tried mending things with her because she was mad that we're together. He basically apologized because he "messed up" and told her he'd do whatever it took to make it right. He spent a good portion of it flirting and complimenting her saying things like what if they had found happiness together and he wouldn't be talking to her the way he was if he loved me.
This obviously upset me but it's a lot bigger than just me now. What I care most about is the wellbeing of my daughter. They got on the topic of our daughter. He told her she wasn't planned (which is true) and that it happened after a crazy night. He then went on to say that it was too late to do anything by the time we found out so we agreed to become parents and now he has to live with that decision for the rest of his life. She wasn't to happy about it asling why we didn't use multiple forms of protection whatever whatever.
This to me reads like he was insinuating that our daughter was something he had not much of choice like it was dumped on him and now he just has to deal with it.
We've been together for almost 4 years and living together for 3 and a half. (I thought) We were in a really good place relationship wise as we were connecting really well and our intimacy was better than ever. Yes she was not exactly planned. We had spoken about having a family multiple times just not at this very instant. I was on birth control and we had been fine all these years until we were surprised with the positive test earlier this year. It was still early on so we had all the options. He instantly leaned towards keeping her because he knew we were ready and really really wamted us to start a family while I was hesitant because Imagined in a different space in our lives before have our first child. After confirming the pregnancy and hearing that first heart beat I knew what I wanted.
I feel like aside from the obvious, him trying to get with this woman, I can't ever forgive him for talking about our daughter like that. Of course he's trying to do damage control and say he was just horny and since we haven't been intimate in over 2 weeks he turned to her and he didn't even mean what he said about our daughter like that. I kno he's full of shit
I'm completely heart broken. Though my daughter wasn't exactly planned she is the greatest thing to ever happen to me and to think that he would refer to her as something he has to live with for the rest of his life makes me hurt so much for her and feel such guilt because I ultimately chose him as the father and she doesn't deserve that.
Am I wrong for taking it that way? Am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? I'm at a loss, I never wanted this for my daughter and I don't know where to go from here.
TL;DR BF sweet talking woman into forgiving him for being with me and us having a child. Makes it seem like it was this meaningless "crazy night" and now he has to live it for the rest of his life.
Submitted December 08, 2022 at 01:32PM by NY_LC https://ift.tt/ZKcIfnR
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