I (21M) have a gf (20F) of almost two years, but can't shake this feeling that I should move on. She's not abusive and has never treated me poorly. It's also not even that we don't love each other. What it comes down to is that although I know she loves me, I rarely feel her love through her actions, and I also often feel that my time and love is taken for granted by her. What I mean by that is that I am the only one who initiates anything...plans to see each other, calls/texts, sex, literally anything. If I don't reach out, we just won't have a real conversation for days.
This has been an issue for much of this relationship, and we were very close to breaking up over it a few months ago after I had previously raised my concerns to her repeatedly and nothing changed. I pretty much told her that I wanted a breakup because I feel alone and I feel that this relationship is far too one-sided. She broke down and told me that she realizes she has been a terrible gf, and that she believes this has been caused by all of the stuff going on in her life. To be fair, she had some major life events happen over the past year, and she also struggles with multiple mental health diagnosises. She said that me coming to her asking for a breakup was a big wakeup call that she hasn't prioritized me through her actions enough, and that things would change.
I decided to give her another chance because I love her. She has her struggles, but she is a genuinely good person who loves me. I wanted to give this relationship every opportunity to survive and thrive.
Fast forward a few months to today and I'm back to feeling the way I was before. It got better for a little bit after we almost broke up, but then went back to the norm. This has me realizing that I'm asking her to be someone she's just not. I love her and she loves me, but I will always feel this void and this exhaustion from feeling like I have to be the one who has to keep carrying this relationship along. Love alone is not enough to make a relationship work. I realized that I need someone who can carry their own end at least occasionally, and I now doubt that my current gf ever can. In my brain I know I should move on, but my heart that's still full of love for her can't bare the thought of letting go off this girl who I once envisioned a future life and family with. I just needed to put my thoughts into words and also wanted to ask if anyone has experienced anything similar.
TLDR: My gf and I love each other, but this relationship always feels one sided. I'm lost and don't know how to feel.
Submitted October 13, 2022 at 08:18AM by Solid_Bridge5967 https://ift.tt/I20omc5
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