(Cross-posted) I either just made a good decision, or the worst decision of my life. And I just need somebody neutral to help me out.
Last night, I called off my 6 year relationship and we broke up.
Backstory. My girlfriend (27F) and myself (31M) have been together for 6 years, and living together for 5. By most metrics we get along great. We don't usually fight, we've never cheated, we've never been sneaky, or done anything to hurt the other. And we both enjoy our jobs and go to school, we live in a great city, we have a nice apartment, and we have a dog together. In a nutshell, we have a pretty good thing going for us.
The problem starts with the fact that I don't want kids. She knew that when we got together, and she admits she just hoped I would change my mind one day. But as she gets closer to 30, the pressure is setting in for her. And for the last few months, she's been not so nice to me, on edge, picking fights, and she admitted that it's because she's bitter. She's bitter because she feels like she has sacrificed things for this relationship (admittedly true) and this is the one "small thing" I wont budge on.
I understand we both have to do what makes us happy, but it's a real bummer. It seems crazy that we have to overturn our entire lives because of this one thing (albeit a big thing). I don't want to lose her, and I don't want to lose my dog. But I don't see another way out.
So I just want some anecdotes, or advice, or shaming, really whatever you've got so I can feel like I'm not in this alone. I don't think anything will change, but yanno.
Thanks in advance everyone.
Tl;dr- Awesome long term relationship falls apart because I don't want kids.
Update- Not that a ton of people were engaged in this post, but I have an update. Her and I had a long talk last night about where we are at. We live in a HCOL city, and leaving isn't really an option. Because we ended things on good terms, and have the dog, we are going to ride it out til the end of our lease. Or until one of us is financially stable enough to leave. We acknowledge that we aren't going to work. But are emotionally mature enough to be friends. (also, neither of us are interested in dating anytime soon, so no concerns of bringing other people home)
Tl;dr- Going to keep living together, but that's okay. And thanks to everyone who reached out, I knew this would happen one day, and some kind and truthful words reminded me I was doing the right thing.
Submitted September 12, 2022 at 03:33PM by Danielthrowjhaway https://ift.tt/vfAyjT3
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