Help! I’m(27M) having thoughts about breaking up with my GF (25F) over something she is VERY self conscious about.

I’m in a relatively new (~2 months) relationship. There’s a lot that I like about this girl, and I feel like we are compatible in a lot of ways. She’s recently confessed some really deep feelings for me, and I have definitely had growing feelings for her.

However, I have concerns that we are sexually incompatible for one major reason: she has a serious aversion to oral sex. It seems like she is just grossed out by it. This aversion is exacerbated by a severe anxiety that she won’t be able to please her partner because she can’t give oral. She’s mentioned that when she tried it in the past she just shut down in a mini panic attack.

Unfortunately, I love receiving oral, possibly even more than regular intercourse. I am also happy to reciprocate. It’s tough for me to imagine a long term relationship without it. I feel like this is the exact situation that she fears, and I’m worried about seriously hurting her by bringing it up. I care about this person a lot. I know that she has struggled with anxiety and depression, and I don’t want to contribute to that. On the other hand, I let a past relationship go on for way too long when we were sexually incompatible, and it ended up hurting us both even more in the end.

I just don’t see a sensible way forward here. I have conflicting thoughts of being callous or shallow for ending a relationship over this, but I also know that I deserve to be true to my needs.

Here are a few ways I see forward:

1. Break up with her and be truthful about my reasons why.
2. Break up with her but come up with a different reason that doesn’t strike as close to her anxieties over oral sex. On the other hand, I’m really not sure if I can lie to her.
3. Explain my feelings to her fully and we can decide together what to do.
4. Suck it up and try to be okay with not receiving oral for the long term, possibly never.

TL;DR My GF is very self conscious about not being able to give oral, but it might be a dealbreaker for me. How do I navigate this?

Submitted June 30, 2022 at 06:40PM by GeorgeHWChrist https://ift.tt/6gOH0J4