Some background - I’m in my 30s and my step dad got married to my mom when I was 7/8 years old. Two years ago he asked my mom for a divorce, refused to do couples counseling, and got into a new relationship pretty quickly. Their marriage was strained for several years, but nothing major happened to cause the divorce. He married his new girlfriend a year after the divorce, who is someone both my mom and him knew casually from the past. We think he may have had an affair with this woman, but he wouldn’t admit it to my mom.
I was close with my step dad growing up. He was one of the few adults who encouraged me to pursue creative pursuits and told me I was a cool person. He never really took on a parent role (he had grown kids of his own), but was more of a mentor. A few years ago he told me he thought of me like his own daughter.
Since the divorce two years ago it’s been radio silence. He included me in some group email about a trip he took a few months after the divorce, but nothing since that. No calls or texts. My mom sort of stays in touch with him and said he was worried about me during the pandemic (I work in a hospital), but he never reached out to see if I was okay. Last week he told my mom he’s canceling the streaming service he shares with me and my sister - the last connection I have to him.
I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. I’ll admit I’m petty and feel because he’s in the parent role and chose the divorce he should reach out first. I drafted a fairly angry text once but just deleted it. Should I just let this relationship go? Or reach out and express my disappointment? I’m not sure I even want a relationship, but it feels like abandonment and I’m not sure I need closure.
TL;DR: I was close with my step dad, but he hasn’t reached out in the 2 years since divorcing my mom. I feel hurt and wonder if it’s worth swallowing my pride and reaching out first.
Submitted February 10, 2022 at 07:26PM by eigthfloorwalkup https://ift.tt/dAY4LDw
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