My (f21) boyfriend’s (m30) estranged wife told me he’s just using me until she “forgives” him and he bought her a new BMW

My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for a year. They are legally still married because he said she won’t agree to divorce. We’ve been together 9 months (I know it seems fast).

I used to see her once in a while when she brought their son (he’s 6) over or picked him up, but a few months ago she told my boyfriend she’s uncomfortable with a “ stranger” being around her child, so now I can’t be at his condo when his son visits. I would understand, but I am hurt by this because she’s never given me the opportunity to know her. They talk to each other exclusively in Russian (it’s hard not knowing what they are saying). The times I tried to engage with her she said no more than three words.

Last night I was surprised by her coming over (my boyfriend told me she came over to pick up money for their sons new school year). After she left, she was in her car outside for a while. I decided to go and try to talk to her. I told her I want a chance to actually meet her. She asked, “why?”. I said because I am going to be in his life and her sons life. She told me, “Sure, until I forgive him. Then he’ll be done using you”. I asked what she means but she didn’t explain. She told me that the new bmw she was driving was bought by him (I had no idea about this gift). She then told me her son needs his father so I need to stay in my place and leave her alone. Her confidence is intimidating so I didn’t ask anything.

I’m extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed. I know she could be lying but I’m worried at the idea of him using me and if he bought her a expensive car when I’M his girlfriend. I’m also worried she will tell him about our conversation. How can I bring all of this up to my boyfriend without making it worse?

TL:DR: Boyfriend’s estranged wife made me doubt our relationship and I need advice on bringing it up to him without making it worse.

Submitted September 03, 2021 at 05:29AM by throwawayworriedgf_ https://ift.tt/3BIW7pB