Bf consistently says he's skilled at things that he isn't skilled at. I don't know how to bring it up without sounding like a jerk?

TLDR: Exactly the title, How do I respectfully bring up that this pattern REALLY bothers me, claiming to know things you don't can put my life at risk (in climbing); can cost me thousands in damages (in plumbing); and can explode my van (in electrical) but it also makes you look like an idiot.

I appreciate that he's just trying to get me to appreciate and respect him, but its just not helpful.

Per the rules: I'm 35F he's 39M we've been together 8 months.

So BF consistently claims to be knowledgeable/skilled in areas that he isn't skilled at. Examples:

(1) We rock climb together and he'll frequently say he knows the route/path/etc and tell me I don't need to look it up and prepare for the climb because "he's got it. he's done this route before, etc" we get out there any he's clearly lost and I wish I had prepared better.

(2) I am planning to build an adventure van, I shared that I'm pretty comfortable with every part of the build except the electrical layout. He boasts that "oh that's so easy he'll take care of it for me when I get there" so I say "well its sorta complicated. Its not the running wires part I'm stuck on, its the electrical diagram, and all the various components in power generation, converting, storage etc." he says "oh yeah I've done it a million times. I know." and I say "oh awesome, thank you! I'm really stuck on the recharging aspect, I want to be able to charge it with solar, and shore power, and alternator charging. I'm not sure what controller to get to allow that, but I'm also not sure on the alternator charging if I should do direct from alternator, or battery to battery charging in terms of balancing simplicity vs safety vs efficiency" and he'll go silent and clearly not understand a single word of that.

(3) This weekend I told him I'm planning on setting aside a few days to install a water softener, I've never done it before, and I expect it will be a little complex. He says "I know how to install a water softener. I'll do it!" I tell him thats nice and I'd love some help and togetherness time but, respectfully, I dont trust anyone but a licensed plumber to be blindly cutting into my water main and setting it up. So I'm not comfortable just assigning him this task blindly, but we could certainly try to tackle it together. He says "why don't you trust me with this? I can do plumbing. I can certainly install a water softener!" clearly a bit offended. I asked him if he knew what it was even, and he just told me he'd installed a toilet and a faucet one time so he knows "plumbing." I didn't want to push the subject further and explain that screwing on a braided hose for a toilet supply is worlds apart from a water softening system.

How do I respectfully bring up that this pattern REALLY bothers me, claiming to know things you don't can put my life at risk (in climbing); can cost me thousands in damages (in plumbing); and can explode my van (in electrical) but it also makes you look like an idiot.

I appreciate that he's just trying to get my to appreciate and respect him, but its just not helpful.

Submitted September 02, 2021 at 06:25AM by Tristavia https://ift.tt/3kPxb8N