Recommended to cross post from ask men advice, I'm really looking for mens insight but all are welcome to weigh in. Here we go, here's the detailed novel.
I (29F) keep an array of condoms and a tube of lube (that's more for my comfort tbh) in a fabric pencil case in my bedside table. It's practical, washable and I like that I know where they are exactly even when groping for them in the dark, and there's no clumsy boxes to deal with. I'm not talking like an industrial costco size pack here, we're more in the territory of about 15 in total maybe. What can I say, I take my health seriously and never want to be in a situation where there's not one that works well for both of us if I can avoid it easily.
Most recently I'd been seeing someone new (31M) after the ending of a long term relationship nearly a year ago now. I'm super out of practice on dating etiquette. We'd been out on a few distance dates, this being our fourth date. We had gotten to know each other and our risk levels and had decided to have him come over for dinner. I thought we had a nice time, we chatted easily and there weren't those super awkward pauses that sometimes happen. My dog even liked him, I saw no flags at this point and we seemed to have some great attraction.
Flash forward to the moment we're seconds away from actually having sex when I pause to say, 'you should put on a condom' and pull out my case to grab one. He kind of started a bit and made a comment about having a whole 'hookup setup', I laugh and said I'd rather be prepared than stop and ruin the moment, trying to keep things light. He kind of tried to insinuate that if he wanted to use one he would have brought one in an offhand kind of jokey way? It didn't really feel totally jokey to me. For first time sex in a relationship that we hadn't solidly established monogamy, a condom is an absolute no brainer must in my opinion. Then he immediately flipped to how I 'must just have an endless train of men' through my bedroom to keep so many condoms. Needless to say that comment earned him an invitation to put his clothes back on and leave.
After reflecting to try and figure out how things went so very wrong, so quickly, I realized I hadn't kept a case when dating before, it evolved during my last relationship for practicality really. I got tired of chasing them loose in my drawer. Usually there's a vibrator in that case too, but I relocated it thinking that would be a step too personal for a fourth date somehow? That seems really silly now too. So maybe ya that is off putting for a first time with a new partner? I hadn't really considered it may be an issue. Would this be a deal breaker? I feel like he overreacted and made a lot of assumptions based on one really small point. Guys what happened!
TL:DR I have a reasonably robust organized condom stash, would you as a man find that to be a problem? Recent experience would suggest yes, however I generally don't think of it at all let alone think it should be an issue.
Submitted April 09, 2021 at 07:55PM by ANALizethispease https://ift.tt/3uCJ2u9
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