Let me start off by saying that this has been an issue in our relationship for a long time. We've been together for seven years and the money thing comes up frequently, about once a month.
When we first met I was up front with him about my credit card debt and how I was working to pay it off. Fast forward to now and I've paid it all off and saved up enough to make a down payment on our home last year. I'm really into budgeting because I can see the returns. I also have a good chunk saved up for emergencies and our wedding.
He is still in debt. Despite saying he is slowly paying it off (like over the past 7 years), he still makes frivolous, expensive purchases. Stuff like action figures, guitar gear and golf stuff. Sometime he will resell online and make a profit, but he'll also keep things. I feel like he needs to cut the cord on the buying/selling merry-go-round. I cut out all unnecessary purchases when I was working towards becoming debt free, but he can't seem to do it. He always needs to be tinkering with something. I don't want to take that away from him, but I also don't think he can keep doing it and pay down debt. I think that deep down he WANTS to be debt free, but he just can't break the spending habits.
So. I feel like we'll never be on the same page. When I bring up the money issue he gets defensive and acts like I am hovering over him, when in fact I just want us to have a solid future together. This is what I tell him. Sometimes he hears me, sometimes he gets mad. Also, he makes 30k more than me a year, so I feel like paying off debt is not out of reach for him in the near future.
I feel like this is going to continue to be an issue in our relationship. I've worked so hard to be financially secure, making sacrifices so we can own a home and have a nice wedding. I don't want to be the "nagging mom" type. That's not me. I just worry that if we fully combine finances I will constantly be asking him about this and that. Any advice would be appreciated.
TLDR: Fiancé can't seem to stop spending money, while I am frugal and building a nest egg.
Submitted April 02, 2021 at 03:07PM by katietopia https://ift.tt/2PySrEa
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