The country I live in has gone through two national lockdowns. My boyfriend spent the first one arguing with his parents every single day. I'm told this isn't all that peculiar for people who were forced together during the first lockdown (I spent it alone) and they don't usually argue that much, but after the experience he decided to go live on his own. He'd found a room, but he had to leave the apartment after a few months because his roommates were... Not the cleanest people.
When the second lockdown is announced, he decides to spend it with me. We discuss it with my roommates, they agree, and we live together the following couple of months. It was nice. I've lived on my own/with roommates since I was a teen, so this was new, but pleasant. We shared chores and expenses.
But ever since the second lockdown ended, he's... Basically kept living here. He "comes by" and then stays a week. He goes back home for a few days, and then he's back again. Often it's me that asks him to leave because I have something to do, and when that happens he complains a lot and tries to find ways to make my plans work with him staying here. I love him dearly but I miss my personal space! I have a cat, and he's allergic, so when he's here I tend to keep him (the cat) out of my room. I miss cuddling with my cat! And most importantly, since the second lockdown ended and we're not technically on a "roommate agreement" anymore, it's not that he doesn't do chores, but I have to ask him and tell him what to do every time... And he's contributed less to grocery shopping and expenses. I still haven't found the right way to tell him, gently, that I want to spend less time together in my house. No matter how I put it, it sounds like I'm making excuses or like I'm hiding some relationship issues. But I'm not... I just like to live on my own at this point of my life. What is a good way to address this?
P. S. He's currently in the process of looking for another place to live with two friends of his, but the pandemic has made this much harder, and he and his friends have really high standards for houses, so they're taking forever.
P. P. S. I hope this is understandable! My english isn't the best. Sorry for that!
TL;DR: National lockdown ruined my boyfriend's relationship with his parents and he wants to go live on his own, which he hasn't managed to do just yet. Ever since another lockdown happened, he's stationed at my house, and I miss my spaces. How do I assert my boundaries on this?
Submitted April 09, 2021 at 11:59AM by BackVisual6270 https://ift.tt/3ta2BtB
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