My husband and I have been married for about 9 months. We dated a year before getting engaged. He has twin sons (17) from a previous relationship. When they were 3, their mother left the family and they have not seen her since.
Lately my husband has been pressuring me to adopt my stepsons. They are really good kids and I have a great relationship with both of them. They call me "mom." I have asked my husband why he wants me to do this and why it's so important to him, and he said nothing would change and it would make things "official" and it would mean a lot to them.
They are your average teenaged boys..they're into sports and girls and are getting ready to go off to college next year. Neither one has said anything to me about this.
I don't know why this feels weird to me. This is my first marriage and I have no children. I have nothing against adopting them, per se. My husband knows I have nothing against children at all and knows that I didn't want to have any. He was perfectly fine with that and also didn't want any more. The twins are practically adults. I can't put my finger on why it bothers me so much that he's pressuring me and I am actually feeling guilty about it. My husband is acting hurt over it. The twins haven't brought it up at all or even dropped hints about it.
Am I being unreasonable? It just seems like a huge step and if it truly wouldn't change anything, I don't get why it's such a big deal to him. Would love some insight.
EDIT: Thank you for the advice. I think it comes down to I don't feel like I've "earned" the title of "Mom" since I haven't raised them, and, in all honesty, I don't feel the bond to them that I always imagined parents have.
tl;dr: Husband of 9 months is pressuring me to adopt his twin sons
Submitted February 06, 2021 at 10:29AM by waitathrowaway240 https://ift.tt/3tCBxEa
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