My (27F) fiancé (32M) got drunk and physically violent with me for the first time. I’m scared please help.

I am a (27F) and a few hours ago, my (32M) fiancé got very very drunk and randomly started a violent fight with me. He is not usually a drinker because he has a history of things like this happening. Two years ago, a similar situation happened (he got drunk and broke things in our apartment) and he promised he never would drink again. He occasionally has drinks here and there with no issues, but tonight was different.

He has been very stressed and depressed so he tried to “calm down” by drinking tequila. Instead, it put him into a violent rage for unknown reasons. I walked downstairs after being on the phone with my friend and found him drunk in the kitchen on the phone. I asked him if he wanted dinner and he started to flip out because he thought I was interrupting his phone conversation and that made him angry. It started off with him calling me a dumb idiot bitch but then escalated very quickly. I kept asking him why he was so mad and he just kept yelling, “you dumb cunt, you dumb whore. You know nothing.” He was making absolutely no sense.

He chased me upstairs and pushed me onto the bed. I have heart conditions that cause me to faint due to becoming overexcited from palpitations. After I got up from the bed, I fell to the ground from dizziness and screamed for him to help me. Instead, he kicked my head and said, “i hope you die cunt.” He then slapped my face, kicked my heart and stomach and then put his hands around my neck choking me to start hitting my head against the floor. He kept yelling that he hates me and I was the biggest mistake of his life and I deserve to die by a gunshot. He told me he wishes i would die already so he can bury me and stop worrying about my “stupid” heart problems. So much more happened but it’s just so hard to type it all because I am feeling so confused and traumatized. He has never done anything close to this.

Quick backstory: We recently got engaged a couple of weeks ago but have been together for 3 years total. We recently moved in with my mom to take care of her since she is sick and to save money for a wedding/house. He lost his job due to COVID and is struggling to find a new one. He does struggle with bipolar disorder but refuses therapy or meds. We bicker here and there but rarely and it’s never serious. He says mean things in arguments sober, but never like this. Alcohol changes him completely or at least amplifies his preexisting issues. I was so so terrified and was even able to record audio of what was going on because I know once he sobers up, he won’t believe that he did these things to me. I don’t know what to do. He is the love of my life and I can’t imagine life without him. We don’t have an abusive relationship at all until this very moment. It was always very very loving. This is the first time he has ever been physical with me and it was completely unprovoked.

I’m confused. I feel scared. I am not sure how to proceed. I never questioned marrying him until now. I can’t talk to anyone about this because my parents and friends all love him and have no idea about anything like this. Do I stay since he only did this because of alcohol? Should I let it go unless it becomes a regular occurrence? I’m so alone and scared. I apologize if this sounds like rambling, I have been shaky having some trouble breathing from this all happening. Thank you if you read the entire post.

Tl;dr: My fiancé got drunk and became upset that I interrupted his phone conversation to ask if he wanted dinner. He then started an unprovoked fight and turned physically violent towards me for the first time ever.

Submitted February 02, 2021 at 05:46PM by Confusedscaredalone https://ift.tt/3cEqUue