My (19f) boyfriend (21m) and I met online a year and a half ago and were long distance for the vast majority of our relationship (about 9 months). I am a really busy person. College, work, family issues. It takes up a lot of my time, but long distance was easy to maintain and it lacked a certain level of seriousness.
For background, I live in a town where it is not easy to get around without a car. Like, nearly impossible. So the few times my boyfriend visited he would take a train to come up here and I would drive us around. Back in his state, he had a job, an apartment, and was close to family. However, he told me he had nothing holding him back and he wanted to be with me.
It was very sweet, but I told him I thought it was a bad idea. He would have to start from scratch here and, with the pandemic, it only made it ten times harder. In fact, I told him he should not move here in one of our earlier conversations, but he still came.
He has been here for a few months, spends basically everyday in his apartment because he doesn’t have a car, and gets upset when I can’t hang out with him everyday. I have such a busy schedule, which he was aware of before coming here, so I can usually make time to see him only a few days out of the week or every other day. Now, he’s pissed at me because he’s alone all the time. He gets mad when I have lots of assignments to do or work because I’m not spending time with him. I drive him anywhere he needs to go, even if I don’t have time that day. He’s even suggested I quit my job, which he says is to keep safe from covid, but I can tell he wants me to free up my schedule for him. He keeps asking me to move in with him, that he will pay for everything, but he’s been jobless here for months. I also live with my parents while attending community college, and I am quite comfortable with this situation.
It’s gotten so frustrating that if I can’t hang out one day he’ll respond very rudely telling me it’s so typical and I don’t care about him and his wellbeing. I am so beyond frustrated with this situation, when I told him it was a bad idea to move here and, surprise surprise, it was.
I’m scared now because, even though I love him, I’m starting to get more and more annoyed with his pressure on me. My parents support me with work and school, but whenever I try to have conversation with him about either topic he tells me it’s a waste of time and I should just quit, he’ll make the money. Really bold for someone who doesn’t have a job and isn’t rich in any way. He’s also started to reveal some of his ideas that are really misogynistic and ignorant, that I was not aware of in our online relationship.
My point is, I am really overwhelmed with the situation he put me in. I’ve tried to bring up the idea of him moving back, and talk some sense into him about how this was not the best choice for our relationship. I feel it tearing us apart and my frustration is building up. I don’t want to resent him. Please, I just need advice on how to handle this. Would it be best to break up with him? To tell him to move back? I would really appreciate any suggestions.
TL;DR my boyfriend moved here even though I told him it was a bad idea and now he’s jobless, angry with me, and telling me to quit my job and school. Should I tell him to move back?
Submitted February 05, 2021 at 08:39AM by leftrightthgirtfel https://ift.tt/3tw8p1c
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