TL;DR - I've been super scared to break up with my EXTREMELY controlling and manipulative boyfriend. For months, I've been following exactly what he says like a pet dog. This week I got mad at him and didn't talk to him for several days, and those days felt amazing. I wanted to keep feeling that feeling, so today I broke up with him for good. And now I feel like I grew some wings.
I did it. And I feel great. I miss him, of course - I know that feeling is not going away right now, but I'm glad I did.
I met my boyfriend about 4 years ago, but we started dating last year. We were really good friends, so I knew this relationship would be good. Well apparently I was wrong because I never expected him to be EXTREMELY controlling and manipulative. This guy would always assume I was cheating on him, which didn't really make sense cause I was actually with him 24/7.
There was one time where I got a random friend request on Discord (we're both gamers). I didn't know who it was, but I accepted because they were in one of our servers. They messaged me random stuff and started flirting with me randomly. I then realized it was actually my boyfriend doing a "cheating tests" on me. I broke up with him, but then I went back because I'm stupid.
Every time I brought up a problem that eventually could become serious, he just shrugged it off or manage to guilt trip me into believing it was my fault. He would always get mad at me for the smallest things. Literally like last week he got mad at me because I was hanging out with my mom (who just came back from the hospital). He was also very aggressive. He would yell and scream at me. Whenever he got mad he always wanted to punch something. It was scary.
One of the main reasons I didn't break up with him sooner is because I felt really scared. I have been feeling super lost and scared in our relationship, that sometimes I stopped bringing up problems so he wouldn't get mad. I stopped leaving his side, which meant I lost a lot of sleep, connections with others, and my grades somewhat went down. I just followed whatever he said.
This week he got mad at me for hanging out with my mom on her birthday. I got really pissed and stopped talking to him for a couple of days, but those days where I didn't talk to him, they felt great. I realized that all this time I haven't been feeling myself and I know I wanted to leave but I was just scared of everything. I know it doesn't make sense, but it does to me. I told him how I've been feeling, but he just assumed that I was leaving him for someone else.
I feel really good and I'm crying writing this because its over and I can let go.
Submitted February 09, 2021 at 04:51PM by AyDaeRod https://ift.tt/3aO0svL
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