I [26M] asked a friend [45M] not to video tape my first time playing at an open mic and they did anyway and texted the video to people

I have been learning how to play the guitar and while still nervous, finally worked up the courage to play at an open mic. I had a few friends with me for support and asked that my friends refrain from video taping it as I was nervous, and this would make me more nervous. One friend went ahead and video taped it anyway, I was nervous seeing a video camera in my face and I believe this added nervousness/pressure had caused me to make more mistakes than I otherwise would have. Not only did my friend video tape it, he also texted it out to another friend which I found embarrassing and not an example of my best work because it contained errors.

I discussed with my friend after that I thought this wasn’t cool, I had asked a friend not to do something because it would make me nervous/uncomfortable and he did it anyway. Instead of just apologizing and moving on from this, The friend is defending their actions saying anybody could have videotaped it, it was a public place, they find it fun to document things etc. I specifically signed up for a slot at midnight when next to nobody was their to ease my nerves of stage freight, and was looking at this as an opportunity to move in the direction of getting more comfortable Playing in front of others.

Eventually after defending his actions, the conversation moved to me saying I felt that a clear boundary was set (please don’t video tape this) and broken, and then he said the boundary was stupid. It escalated to me getting upset that a friend would say a boundary I had was stupid and I said that I no longer wanted To associate with somebody that needed to document things on their phone over respecting a friends boundary and comfort level. I was very angry at the time that the friend couldn’t just apologize and move on, and instead choose to defend their actions so now I’m wondering what the appropriate response would have been.

TLDR: went to an open mic in hopes of improving stage freight, asked friends not to video tape it as it would make me nervous. One did anyway and texted the video with errors out to people that weren’t there. Argument ensued and I called them out for going against what I asked everybody to do. They defended their action and now we aren’t speaking to each other. What should I have done?

Submitted February 05, 2021 at 01:54PM by Primary-Aardvark-230 https://ift.tt/3cMxGym