My (30, F) husband (30, M) and I have been married 2.5 years, together 6+. I love him dearly and with all my heart, but he is a smelly, gross caveman. He has been working from home for the past year and has lost all semblance of a basic hygiene routine, not that his habits were great to begin with. He will literally go days without showering, brushing his teeth, or using deodorant. He never combs his hair anymore, so he sheds dead hair everywhere. He never shaves anymore, either. He will wear the same clothes for days on end. He sleeps in his contact lenses for weeks (REALLY bad, I know). The only time he will take care of himself is if we are seeing friends or family, which is obviously not often because of COVID.
To boot, his bathroom is absolutely atrocious. Thank GOD we have separate bathrooms, because his is covered in thick, dark hairs all over the sink, floors, etc. Worst of all, his toilet is constantly covered in a layer of *ahem* residue... How can someone who doesn't shower/take care of himself possibly make such a mess in the bathroom, of all places?
I have tried so many different ways, with varying degrees of gentleness, to ask him to change his habits: "Babe, did you remember to brush your teeth today?", "I'm getting really concerned and I think we should talk about it. Are you feeling okay? These are kinda classic symptoms of depression...", "YOU STINK PLEASEEEEE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET IN THE SHOWER." etc.
His mother just had 4 teeth removed in an emergency surgery (and is missing several other teeth) as a result of poor oral hygiene. I would think that would be a really scary wake-up call, at least for his oral hygiene habits, but nothing has changed.
I'm at my wit's end and I'm ready to start sleeping in the guest bedroom. What are some ways I can handle this? What are some kind but effective words that I can use? How can I be a good partner without feeling like I have to mother him?
TL;DR: Please help me to help my husband improve his smelly, gross ways!
Submitted February 05, 2021 at 09:08AM by 75904832943927589 https://ift.tt/3rrv2C8
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