I don't really know what to do, I don't know who to turn for advice : so I decided to turn to reddit.
I have been severely depressed lately on numerous things, but the one thing that is bugging me the most is how my boyfriend has been acting towards me when I get upset and try to talk to him about it. I try to explain it to him, I try putting it in his logic, I try putting him in my shoes but somehow its always my fault.
Every time I try explaining to him how his actions, jokes, comments, ect hurts me and how I wish he could understand and change it - he just laughs at me and says 'its just a joke' , 'why are you so sensitive' , ect.
I am really sensitive, I get that - but I know disrespect when I see it and I am not going to let it happen to me so of course I am going to be very vocal about it. I also have a tendency to raise my voice when I get upset because he never listens to me, and I am sure it would hurt and irritate anyone. I know its the wrong approach but its really upsetting...ya know?
Instead of him even trying to understand or realize his wrongs, and because I raise my voice - he turns it around onto me and says that I am the problem and that I need to take accountability for my actions. Like huh??? He says I get mad and upset over everything and I need to learn how to let loose and take jokes.
He makes jokes about buying mail order brides, how he wouldn't be able to control himself if another girl flirted / made advances towards him, asking where white women were at literally every hour of the day, and so many other things that I can't even think of because I am really upset right now. He even makes racist/sexist jokes and I always call him out for it because it pisses me off but I apparently can't 'take a joke'.
But if it hurts me...or even others, and I express it and communicate it (like how any relationships are) then I feel like he should understand that, take accountability for them and apologize but instead he just insults me for being upset to the point where he just laughs and laughs while I cry until I stop or leave.
Like am I in the wrong for being upset? Like I don't know how to feel, to the point that I start to question if I am the problem. I really don't know what to do...
TLDR: My boyfriend says a lot of hurtful jokes and claims that they aren't and that I am too sensitive to 'laugh/take the joke'. What do I do?
Submitted February 04, 2021 at 02:00PM by elisdren https://ift.tt/2LqDvGk
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