As I [21F] grow older and my personality changes, I no longer want to be friends with my childhood friend group. Don’t know if I’m being dramatic.

I have had the same group of friends (consisting of three other girls) since I was 10 years old. I’m now 21. We all met at school, grew close and constantly meet whenever we’re all in the country together and have a group chat.

This friendship was always far from perfect but I still liked belonging to it and I was mostly happy. However last year I started getting really annoyed at them. One of the girls is very egotistic, she constantly talks about herself, rants about everything. I was the closest emotionally to her because we both come from emotionally abusive households, but I realized how unhealthy our friendship was becoming— I just always felt the need to rant her, but when I distanced myself from her I found myself being able to handle negative emotions by myself. She continued to rant and talk about herself even after I began to show signs that I was disinterested or not in the mood. She asked if I was okay about twice but continued to do it. Her blatant disregard for my feelings turned me off from the friendship.

My other friend was considered my best friend, yet when I grew up I realized I couldn’t lean on her emotionally for anything except relationship problems. I struggled with financial problems but she couldn’t relate as she was very wealthy. Uncomfortable household, but she had a close knit family. I couldn’t talk about about my mental health. My dog died and I didn’t tell her because she doesn’t really care about animals. The conversations we have just feel like they’re very minimal and basic— like the tip of an iceberg. She is also an accomplished person in nursing school and I felt that she looked down on me several times and thought I never tried hard enough. And lastly, I have a very superficial friendship with the final person. Our friendship is just for show on insta or in the group chat but we never talk personally.

There are also some values that I care about that they do not seem to share. Is anyone else an INFP-T personality? It was really accurate for me. I feel like I’m starting to prioritize values as I grow older. For example, i argued with one of them about going out unnecessarily during a pandemic. She was very rude and egotistic. I didn’t talk to her for a while after that, and when we started talking again she continued to tell me stories of her at restaurants, show pictures of her food, etc. Another friend gives me the vibes that she talks shit about other people behind their backs. Or mocks them. I have never really been able to trust her despite her having the label of best friend. I just feel like I don’t want to be friends with people that don’t share my personality or values or don’t try to grow.

I’m far from perfect but I’m trying to grow. But everytime we meet up or talk, I feel like I’m forced to be my steoretypical role in the group— the funny, dorky one who always cracks jokes. That’s just one part of my personality but I became entirely that in the group.

Am I being dramatic for pushing them away? There are of course MANY happy moments and they outnumber the bad. I also don’t have a lot of friends to begin with and these are my childhood friends. However I feel like I’m becoming a new person as I grow older and being in this group is holding me back from growing. Am I being too harsh and unforgiving?

TLDR; I’m becoming distant with my childhood friend group as I grow older and prioritize values and deeper conversations. I am pushing them away but don’t know if I’m being too harsh and viewing it too negatively

Submitted February 13, 2021 at 09:49PM by throwaway0953135 https://ift.tt/2ZfJykd