So about 3 years ago, my fiancé, then boyfriend, cheated on me. It took time and work, but I forgave it and I harbor no negative feelings about it. Now... sometimes in some ways, it still affects our lives. For example, we met through his best friend. His best friend was a brother to me for 12 years. We were both very close. After the cheating incident, our friend felt caught in the mix and it severely damaged our friendship.
Today is his wedding, and my fiancé was invited but due to COVID regulations, I was not on the list. If this was three years ago... I would’ve made that shortened list easily. Now I was upset about this, but I decided to keep that information mostly to myself because everyone deserves to have a good time. Now my fiancé knew a LITTLE BIT that I’m upset not about the depth but just that I wish I was invited. So he mentioned to me last night that our friend was having an after party, and that I wasn’t invited. He wanted me to hang out with him at the hotel room after, just discussing it upset me way more, I said no and explained why I was upset a little and then said goodnight. This morning, he said again that I wasn’t invited, and then I seemed upset.... and he told me he’d actually been kidding... I was invited. He tends to be the type of person to make insensitive jokes.
Now I was upset at HIM for pranking me because I’ve been so sensitive about this and holding it back. He apologized and then I realized I was probably taking it out on him, so I decided that I would go into depth about why I was upset. About how once upon a time I would’ve made that list and how the problems of our relationship made it so the friend and I weren’t as close as we once were. My fiancé took this VERY personally and it became a conversation about how “I’ll never let go of our past and I’ll hold it against him forever” when that wasn’t the point at all.... I was just venting to my partner. I find it hard because while I’m no longer mad about our past, the cheating affected my life and sometimes still does, if I can’t talk to my partner, who can I turn to? Am I out of line for bringing this up, should I keep these thoughts to myself?
TL;DR: Is it wrong to bring up the past of cheating if I’m over it? If it has an affect on my current life, but I’ve forgiven him, is it wrong of me to bring it up?
Submitted October 24, 2020 at 09:01AM by mythrowawaybs https://ift.tt/35uN3pM
No comments:
Post a Comment