My (26F) husband (25M) is severely mentally unwell and I can’t handle it anymore. Advice would be so welcome.

Hi guys,

Throwaway as my husband knows my reddit account. I’m honestly lost, scared, and have no fucking clue what to do anymore.

We’ve only been married one year now and mostly things are great, super affectionate, lots of sex etc.

There’s a problem right now, my husband is mentally unwell, untreated and out of control. They say in sickness and in health and I’ve put up with this as much as I can and have no clue what to do anymore.

Long story short, he was diagnosed with BPD, OCD and GAD from a psychiatrist. Unfortunately he doesn’t react well to medication so therapy is the only way but everyone has long waiting lists. His lost his job due to this as well.

He is honestly crazy. And the funny thing is, I can understand as I was diagnosed with BPD as well years ago and I was very unstable but I’m treated and 100% managed. I also was physically abused as a child and have PTSD where if screaming or abuse happens I dissociate but that’s about it. I try to be very understanding towards him but I’ve had enough. I have to walk around eggshells and if I even have a tone of voice he doesn’t like he starts throwing a tantrum and if I yell back or act in a way he doesn’t like, he starts screaming, pulling his hair and falls to the ground crying.

Today was a breaking point, we were doing okay for a few days, his usually just very emotional but we were surviving. Basically I was agitated today and frustrated and didn’t have my patience as I usually have, I spoke to him in a way he didn’t like, he started screaming and crying, i couldn’t handle it and dissociated. I started to cry and he got worse, screaming in my face. He started falling on the ground, banging his head and going insane honestly. Telling me to talk to him but I couldn’t, he lost me by here.

Eventually after 10 minutes I started to calm down and had to start to calm him down like you would a severe autistic child. But this is where I couldn’t believe what he said, he said that I am the reason his going to kill himself, that I got him to this point, he wouldn’t have this issue if I was here, he’ll be fine on his own etc. I told him his very unwell and I’ll call the ambulance as he was threatening to hurt himself, he said if I call the ambulance he’ll be dead before they come. Eventually I called his parents and they’re going to come pick him up and his parents are amazing and understand what I’m going through and support as much as they can.

But I’m lost, this constantly happens and is a cycle. The psychologist isn’t until months away. I can’t do this on my own. Either I leave or we move in with his parents. Is it wrong I feel this way? I love him obviously and he wasn’t like this before but I can’t handle being treated this way. I just want to run away. It’s only been two months of this, don’t know how much more I can handle. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? How did you get through?

Thanks guys, sorry if this is jumbled, I’m just super emotional right now and lost :(

Tldr; Husband is very mentally unstable and I can’t handle his outbursts anymore, don’t know how to move forward and survive.

Submitted September 02, 2020 at 10:54PM by Anon3550 https://ift.tt/2ESrOox