My boyfriend is about to move in with me. I go to grad school and we’ve been together for three years and want to take the next step.
But my parents don’t know. I won’t be telling them since it’s strictly against their wishes and would ruin our relationship.
The issue is that there’s been countless times where I mention how our finances are going to be divided. The landlord asked an increase of $100 in rent because he will be living here too. That’s fine. But from our conversations, he’s okay with just paying the $100 and maybe some utilities that would come out to $120. So at most he’d pay $220 when I’ll be paying $895.
I’m taking out federal loans which pay for rent, my parents pay for my food, gas and car. I can’t get a job because I don’t have the time for it. He has a job set up in the nearby Walmart so that when he moves, he already has a place to work.
All I asked of him was that we divide our rent evenly, since my the end of the day, I would only have $1000 for the next four months in case of emergency after taking out the costs of rent and utilities. It makes me feel financially secure. Asking him to divide rent in half made him VERY upset, we argued about it and he said “if your loans are paying for it, why do I have to help.” He wants to save the money he makes for “trips and cool things” for the “both of us” but realistically with COVID, when would that even happen?
The issue really took an ugly turn when he was talking about buying a new car, since I’m in Vermont now, he needs an AWD. He wants to get into an $18k loan, with added insurance too. He said that because I’m making him pay half of rent, he isn’t able to get the car he wants. Which yes, but we don’t NEED a new car for him. He would just use it to and from work, so I suggested something affordable, maybe $6-8k. He said word for word “I’ll pay your 600 and get a shit car. There’s nothing else to it.”
It really hurts my feelings. He wants to go to school in the spring. I’m just suggesting he make a financially responsible decision so that a car payment of $500 with insurance not stop him from getting a degree. I also don’t think paying $600 for rent is a lot to ask from him? If he did both, he wouldn’t be able to afford to get less hours at work for school. He would be screwing himself over.
He told me he’s having second thoughts on moving up there because of me asking half and half on rent. I would’ve been so much nicer and made him pay less, but the fact that he made me feel like such an awful person makes me hesitant to do that for him.
Am I in the wrong? I want him to have nice things, a new car, but it’s crushing me that he doesn’t even want to help me out financially.
TLDR: Boyfriend only wants to pay 1/5 of rent but wants to get a new $18k car. He’s upset that I’m asking to split rent in half, because now he can’t get the car he wants. He said “I’ll pay your $600 and get a shit car.” Even though he needs to go to school in the spring. Am I in the wrong?
Submitted September 01, 2020 at 10:55AM by yaboieternal20 https://ift.tt/2QKwgYJ
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