I (32F) didn’t know my boyfriend (42M) was an alcoholic

I (32F) didn’t know my boyfriend (42M) was an alcoholic until my mum passed away suddenly last year.

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 7 years. I’ve always known he enjoys to drink to the point where it gets messy. I always sort of excused the behaviour because it never affected his life/work. It wasn’t until my mum’s death that I realized he had a major problem.

How could I go 6 years of our relationship not defining him as an alcoholic? I was so wrapped up in the relationship to not understand his addiction was a major part of his life. Once my grief became heavy I would often turn to him for support. Unfortunately this is where the cracks started to appear. He could not be there for emotionally because of his drinking. He was always messed up or passed out. Before my mum had died, I lived a very busy life of seeing friends and keeping up with hobbies/work. Once my life came to a full stop this is where I started to notice my boyfriend’s dependency.

The past year and half have been hell dealing with his addiction and my grief. I’ve tried to approach his family about getting help but unfortunately nobody wants to confront it. I don’t blame them, from the outside looking in you wouldn’t notice anything. It took me 6 years for me to finally take notice.

He doesn’t think he has a problem. Right now there’s nothing I can do until he admits he has a problem.

My brother was rushed to hospital last night with life threatening complications due diabetes. He is stable now, but it has been a very sleepless 24 hours. I just woke up from a nap on the couch. My boyfriend is stumbling around drunk eating Doritos. I really resent that again he was not there for me.

Not sure how long I can go without the emotional support of a partner.

TL;DR: I didn’t know my boyfriend was an alcoholic until my mum passed away.

Submitted August 31, 2020 at 09:21PM by Shirley_Valentine24 https://ift.tt/3lyWlrT