I will start by saying that overall he is a great boyfriend. He is constantly doing things that he knows will make me happy. If I have an issue at any point I can have discussions with him and we will work together to resolve. We have a lot in common and are pretty compatible.
My issue with this started pretty early on. When we would go out on dates, we would be chatting and I would see him glancing multiple times over to somewhere else. This is when I would see that he was looking at another women. It was pretty obvious to me, but then again I am the type of person to notice even the little things. I let it go because I didn’t want to seem jealous and start “problems.”
On one date, we did paint nite and we sat across from each other. The instructor did a dirty joke about the paint brushes and I looked up to share a laugh with him. He didn’t notice because he was looking at another girl there and watching her reaction. I felt really bad about myself and couldn’t enjoy the rest of the date but didn’t let on that I was bothered by something.
This weekend my cousin had a drive by birthday party for her daughter. We got down as we waited for some treats. While there a women came in with her high school daughter. She’s not related to me (boyfriend has no idea whose related to me and he’s only been to a few family things). I kept seeing him glance at her direction. I felt so disrespected and embarrassed. If I can tell, can my family tell? Can she tell? I confronted him about it. He said he was just looking around but knew who I was referring too and eventually owned up to it. When I pointed out that she was a high schooler he said he had no idea and looked guilty.
I feel like it’s affecting my self esteem. The girls he looks at are so different from me. He stares at girls with tight clothing, crop tops, lots of make-up.. I’m very conservative, don’t wear make-up, wear loose clothing, don’t care about the latest fashion.. and I don’t want to change who I am .. this is also the highest weight I’ve been in my life (he met me at this weight though) and I’ve been feeling down about that so it hurts even more to see him looking at way different body types from mines
The first time I brought this up to him, he denied it and said he just looks around. He said he’d work on it anyways. Anyways, it still happens. A few days ago he admitted that he is in fact looking at other girls but it’s just looking., he said he’d never cheat or do anything else.
I believe him when he says he won’t cheat. But I still feel sad and hurt that he’s constantly looking at girls when we go out. It’s very obvious to me that he’s glancing multiple times/staring.
He promised he will work on this. Do you think this is something someone can change about themselves? He’s 30 and still doing this even after multiple conversations. I am religious/conservative so I am also wondering if I’m just being too rigid?
TL;DR: bf keeps obviously checking out other people in front of me and it’s hurting my self esteem.
Submitted September 22, 2020 at 10:06AM by pizzaislife777 https://ift.tt/2FSmXEb
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