This only happened about 2 hours ago. I’m sorry if this isn’t the perfect sub, I couldn’t think of any and I just need to get my thoughts out.
So me and him are currently living back at home. He travels for work and I ran into financial trouble recently. 2 hours ago, my parents found my brother unconscious and gasping for air. They call 911 and yell for me. I know first aid/cpr and started doing all the steps, pulse, breathing, check for choking, move to flat surface. My head was spinning and I didn’t know what to do, the 911 dispatcher said to start compressions and keep doing them until help arrived. So I do and help got there in what felt like forever but was really about 3 minutes. Volunteer fireman. He lost his pulse/breathing at one point but they got him back and also hit him with narcan. He was breathing and replying after about 10 minutes. Paramedics said I saved his life.
I feel sick, I can’t stop crying. We knew he smoked weed but this looked like a pill situation. Is he addicted? Depressed? Suicidal? We’re all pretty shocked pills are involved. We’re not a very emotionally strong family. We don’t talk about feelings.
I feel like a terrible brother because I’m not that close with him. And it tears me up to say that because.. we’re fucking brothers you know? I like doing things alone, like working out and hiking. I feel terrible that I never ask him to do those things or even hang out with me. I feel terrible that he must have been lonely enough to start getting into pills. I feel terrible that I never reached out to see what he’s going through. I just feel really terrible.
I don’t know what to do or what advice I’m seeking.
TLDR- have gone through family emergency, need guidance on my weak relationship with my brother, and also how do I myself work through a traumatic situation like this
Submitted June 04, 2020 at 07:03PM by OleShcool https://ift.tt/3gXjZfh
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