My very long term relationship never progresses and I’m tired of waiting for what feels like nothing

I (27, f) have been with my partner (28, m) off and on since 2008. We dated 6 years, broke up for 4 but still had a place holder in each other’s lives talked/hung out every few months, and we’ve been back together for 2 years. There’s just never been more than what we are now, we see each other a few times a week, we don’t live together. We talk every day. But when it comes to actual commitment - engagement, living together, marriage, kids - it’s always talked about like it’s always going to happen eventually. This has been going on for 12 years and I’m so tired of whatever this is. I tell him I want more and I feel like he just pacifies me to keep me in his life. I’m tired of “eventually”. I’ve known for so long how I’ve felt, I’m so frustrated.

It makes me feel like I’m not good enough to start a life with or settle down with and it makes me incredibly insecure. He talks about a future very openly but he’s said this stuff for so many years it holds no water anymore. I’m not okay with giving him an ultimatum because I never want to force someone to be with me. Is it silly to feel like walking away is the only self respecting option at this point? Is it silly to feel this way about our relationship? We’ve had this conversation before and he’s known how I feel, Is it just time to accept we’re not wanting the same things?

TLDR Been together off and on for 12 years, how long do you wait for someone to commit before you just have walk?

Submitted April 04, 2020 at 02:25PM by Peachy721 https://ift.tt/39FNRYR