Hi,
After years of uncertainty, I figured out I'm bi. I am currently dating a guy (my first boyfriend). Last year, he put me through a lot and left me. I fell into a deep depression and was in a pretty dark place. I felt like I was suffocating dealing with this alone, so I ended up coming out to my siblings, including my little brother. I felt safe with them, and they were all supportive (although unintentionally pretty homophobic) and helped me get through what was happening.
Fast forward roughly a year, little bro has become, for a lack of a better word, a monster. He started cutting classes (grade 9) until he just stopped going altogether, he refuses to do any sort of homework/studying/projects. He greets everyone in the house with curses/slurs, and the moment anyone is speaking, tells us to shut up. He hits my mom if she doesn't immediately give in to whatever he's asking for. He stole my parents' credit card to buy locks that he installed to lock me out of my own room. He emptied and destroyed a lot of my old stuff I kept in my room (things from highschool, old memories, keepsakes, etc.). His number one aspiration in life right now is to start a drug empire. My parents do very little about it.
Recently, he developed a pretty strong hatred for me, probably because I call him out on his shit unlike the rest of the family. We got into some very bad arguments, and some where I had to physically defend myself from him. The other day my dad came into my room and said he found my brother crying out of anger and saying he hated me over and over. He then found a written plan to murder me (lol). My little brother told him something along the lines of "I really want to tell you something about [me], but you'll hate him forever." My dad questioned me about it, but I played dumb.
Since then, he's been hanging this over my head. Just tonight, he threw a violent fit over me taking a water bottle (I can't make this shit up), and said "if you don't give it back, I'm telling dad you're gay." I told him to go ahead and act unbothered, but the truth is live in a state of constant anxiety because of this. As I said earlier, my parents are very homophobic. My mom makes faces and awful remarks about any gay scene she sees on TV. My dad is religious to the point it borders on being terrifying. I've already seen how he treated my sister for dating someone of a different religion. It was years of abuse for her. I have no doubt it will be worse for me.
I don't know what to do. I hate that I gave him this power over me. I hate that my decision to come out (something I had planned to do when I was out of grad school, financially and emotionally secure) has been stolen from me and is in someone else's hands. I know he's only 15, but I never thought he would be so cruel to do something he knows will permanently alter or even destroy the relationship I have with my family. It's not like this is a minor thing. I have no idea if I'll be kicked out or if they'll stop supporting me. I have no idea if I'll be disowned. I do know there will be permanent hostility and disgust towards me...
I don't know what to do. Should I just tell them myself, before he can? Do I deny it if he ever says anything? Pls help.
tl;dr: My little brother is threatening to out me to my homophobic parents. Should I just do it before he has the chance to?
Submitted April 24, 2020 at 04:16AM by athrowforyou https://ift.tt/354nE5q
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