I wrongly accused my husband of having an affair with our 19 year old neighbor. How can I fix this with both him and our neighbors?

I want to put everything out there, so this post may be long and a little jumbled. I'm also new to Reddit, so bare with me.

​

My husband, D [M, 25], and I [F, 27] have been married for nearly three years. Last August, we moved from California to a Cleveland suburb for my husband's job. I won't say specifically what he does, but he does specialize in art history (this is important). Next door to us lives a single family: husband and wife are in their mid-50s and their daughter M is 19. For the first few months of living next-door to this family, we really didn't talk to them more than just waving or saying "hi" when we passed them. However, at a block party at the end of the summer D and I were talking to M when she told us she's an art history major. She and D spent the rest of the night talking about it, despite my many efforts to get him to talk to people our age. After that, they got a lot closer. They found out that they have similar interests in several things and D started talking about M a lot more. Granted M is a pretty mature 19 year old and has always been pretty nice to me, so I tried not to let it bother me.

​

However as the summer was almost over, I was a little relieved because I had figured M would be going back to college and wouldn't be around D as much and so I was a little frustrated when I found out that the college that she goes to is only about twenty minutes away so she commutes. And D and M just got even closer. He began helping her study for her classes and she would go to him for advice or questions she had with her classes. This made me incredibly suspicious as he would be over at her house for a few hours at least once a week. I started asking him what was going on and it led to several fights with him insisting that they were just friends. I began to resent M and the nicer she was to me the snippier I was with her. He seemed honest so I normally would just drop it only to fight about it a week later. D suggested couples therapy at one point and it upset me so much that I went to stay with my sister for the weekend.

​

But two weeks ago, D and I had been doing much better and went out for dinner. I had a few drinks and was pretty drunk by the time we got home. As we pulled into our driveway, M and another girl were leaving their house. As we got out, M immediately waved to both of us, when D reciprocated but I didn't. M then said to D that she had had a good time at the exhibit that they had gone to, and to me, that I should join them next time. I had no knowledge of D going anywhere with M. And I just completely lost it and started screaming and crying. I told D to stay away from M. And I called M a homewrecking slut. Writing this out is really difficult, I still feel awful. After I said that, D just went completely silent, dragged me into the house, and went to bed. The next morning D told me that he was sorry that he hadn't told me but he hadn't wanted to start a fight with me over it. He also told me that M is gay (I had no idea- the girl she was with was her gf I guess) and that they seriously are just friends. However, now M won't acknowledge me and barely acknowledges D which I know is really hurting him. He won't talk about it with me (or really anything) and we've gotten distant again. M's parents also don't even say hi to me anymore. I really, really fucked up. How do I fix this?

Tl;DR: My husband and I moved across the country for my husband's job and he became friends with our 19 year old next door neighbor. He began helping her study since she is majoring in the his career field. He didn't tell me just how much time they were spending together so when I found out, I drunkenly accused him of having affair with this girl when it turns out that the girl is gay and they truly were just friends. Now my husband won't talk to me and our neighbor and her family barely even acknowledge us. I know this is really tearing my husband apart. What can I do? Please help me.

Submitted January 23, 2020 at 03:03PM by neighborproblems11 https://ift.tt/2RntYA3