Me (41F) and and husband (40M) have been married for 13 years and together for 16. I would say that we never had like the best sex life. I love him and he is an amazing person, so the sex part was OK to me, I wasn’t as worried about it. In the past my “amazing sex” relationships were usually bad relationships anyway.
Well over the years he has always had issues with losing his erection. This was literally an issue the first time we had sex. He said he was nervous. Eventually it worked out and years later and 2 kids later I am now at a point where I have lost all libido. I mean, I honestly feel like if I never have sex again in my life I would be happy. I don’t even mastrubate.
I can blame him for losing my libido. Yes its frustrating. Sex literally always had to be “perfect” and “simple” in order for him not to lose his erection. If I make a “wrong move” like lets say I get really into it and moan more or go on top I feel like he “loses” it because he is “nervous” that he won’t perform well, or apparently I am “too sexy”. We have talked about this many times and he has many times said hurtful things about how he can’t do it because we don’t do it often enough etc. and I am sure I have said hurtful things too.
But in reality, I don’t know why I have no libido. It could be hormonal.
However, I feel like I now basically just do it to make him happy once a week (or less). I hate that. I want to enjoy it. Sometimes I do but it’s literally the same every time and not very exciting. We have tried adding things like toys and sexy lingerie but it usually doesn’t work.
But- I cannot NOT have sex with him. That is just not fair. He entered a marriage with this expectation, I am sure. I feel like I should either try harder or leave and I do not want to get a divorce, not even a possibility.
I honestly want to tell him to just go have sex with someone else, but I think he will get insulted.
TL;DR: My husband has had erection issues. After 13 yrs marriage I now have no libido. I feel like I owe him sex and I am not sure how to get into it. I wish he would have sex with someone else, but I don’t want a divorce.
Submitted January 03, 2020 at 06:50PM by IcyPoet1 https://ift.tt/35ogwQb
No comments:
Post a Comment