Myself and my friend have known each other for a long time, whilst I would say we are quite different people we have always been close and gotten along well apart from the odd disagreement. She got bullied by a few girls at our school and I defended her and ended up taking a bad beating by doing this. She used to crash at mine two nights a week through school and we were pretty inseparable. We always kept in touch and met up probably once a month as life got busier as we got older.
We were pregnant with our kids at the same time who are now 4 years old. The experience of going through it together brought us even closer, we were a month apart. We even had a joint baby shower.
I have been married for 5 years and my husband and her now husband are friends, although not great pals they get along fine.
She was a bridesmaid at my wedding along with my sister and my very best friend. Weve had no issues at all and we regularly saw each other about once a week for our kids to play together.
She got engaged last year and the wedding was at the end of Dec. She told me she was having no bridesmaids just her sister as maid of honour. I honestly thought nothing of it at all, some people dont like to make a big fuss. Just went along to the wedding with my other friends and our husbands and was looking forward to it.
As soon as we got in the church n she walked in, looking amazing, I saw 3 girls as her bridesmaids and my stomach turned and I wondered why. I obviously never said anything because it was her day. My friend made a comment to me of something like I cant believe she didnt ask you and her husband says she just picked the ugliest friends she had. I didnt say this or think it by the way, would never say that about anyone. But when he said it I did wonder. The girls she had, I later found out work with her, shes been in the job 8 months.
It made me really sad and I did ask her about it a few weeks later and she said it was because I was too pretty to have as a bridesmaid, she wanted the focus to be on her and she didnt want her husband or his friends to be looking at me. When I think back I have noticed situations where she has kept me away from her husband/his friends and told me things like she isnt dressing up or making an effort to go somewhere, and when I turn up shes gone all out and I look like an idiot. I notice things now that slipped my mind before. Before her wedding she also told me I don't need to stay for the night part and not to worry if i cant stay for the meal either.
I told her how this upset me as I cant help how I look, I cant help the gene's or dna I inherited off my parents and I'm sorry she felt that way, and had I done anything to make her feel this way!? She said she didnt want to be the girl who gets pushed aside for her friend on her wedding day. I completely understand that, but it has hurt my feelings and I thought our friendship meant more than that. I've spoken to her many times about how upsetting it is that people think I'm automatically going to be a certain snobby way for how I look and how I want to be taken seriously etc but she obviously doesnt see my point. Ive even spoken to her about not feeling valued in my work and people thinking I cant be smart enough or have the qualifications to do my job.
She even told me she had the girls as bridesmaids because they're not attractive and wouldnt upstage her. I find that really cruel and shallow.
I haven't spoken to her in a week and I dont know what to say. I'm upset and understand people who are strangers judge you but you dont expect it from a longtime friend.
I'm not sure what to do, does anyone have any advice?
I dont want to lose a friend, and in some ways I understand
Just wish she had been honest with me instead of lying.
TL;DR friend lied about wedding party and didnt want me as a bridesmaid because I would 'upstage' her
Submitted January 25, 2020 at 02:59PM by thrwawayw2 https://ift.tt/2RsIJBG
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