I’m so frustrated, sorry if this sounds more along the lines of something from r/vent
My husband can be very sweet and helpful. He respects women, thinks there’s a lot of ridiculous sexism out there, and is always encouraging me to try my best to prove myself capable (I now practice football with him and his guy friends).
But here’s where my frustration comes in. We both work, him as an electrician, me as a package handler. I start my job at 3:30am and usually get done around 9:00-9:30am. I come home, shower, do my laundry, empty and reload the dishwasher, make myself food, and either head for the gym, or a cleaning job (I always have at least one a week, but an average three when it’s not around the holidays). I then do the grocery shopping, plan dinner, and clean whatever else. I’m the only one who vacuums, sweeps, mops, takes out the trash, washes dishes, cleans the shower, toilet, sinks, countertops, dusts, cleans the cat box, and keeps the car clean.
He goes to work between 7:30-8:30 and gets home between 3:00-4:30. He works roughly 30-35 hours a week. He gets home, dumps his dirty clothes on the floor, showers, eats the dinner I make him, and either goes out to his shop to tinker, or plays video games on his computer.
We made the same amount of money for the year of 2019.
Why an I the only one cleaning?! He acts like I’m asking him to retrieve the moon if I ask him to clean, or he says, “only for an hour, I have things I want to do.” We all have things we want to do. But only one of us is prioritizing our time for what’s important.
He also chides me if I let the gas tank get below empty, if I leave the toaster on the counter, or if the cat kicked litter out of the box. The longer we’ve been married, the less he does. I feel like giving up and moving into the basement, tbh.
I feel like he’s just encouraging me to do my best so that way he can take advantage of everything I’m doing. And he’s always saying, “oh, you don’t have to do that,” when of course I do, no one else is going to feed us if I don’t cook. He’ll say things like, “you should play something on the switch” when I’m in the middle of cleaning, like it assuages his guilt or something. I always respond, “no, this needs to get done or it never will.”
But I digress; how do I help him understand that he needs to take on some of the physical load, and the mental load?
Tl;dr my husband is lazy and thinks he has a right to be because he’s an electrician, and that’s I don’t need to be cleaning, except for the fact it won’t get done otherwise.
Submitted January 05, 2020 at 06:58PM by cheeriosandrice https://ift.tt/37AEY2f
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