Boyfriend lashes out at me when he gets jealous. Should I be understanding or is this a dealbreaker?

Last night, I (30F) went home early and fell asleep and my boyfriend (33M) stayed out with some friends and came back to my place to sleep.

I guess when he came home, he saw on my phone a guy had texted me “what are you up to?” at 230 am. The texter was a dude who was into me in college, and I literally haven’t seen/spoken to him in 5+ years. I also wasn’t even interested in him back then — nothing ever happened between us.

I know my bf doesn’t know that, and In his mind, this is some yoked, threatening dude. I told him the facts, and he kinda lashed out. Brought up that I need to work out and that my legs need work (we’ve fought about working out before, I don’t really do it much, but i watch what I eat and do some light activity). Fyi, I’m 5’9, 145lbs...not fat by any measure. He apologized and said he was actually mad about the dude texting me, but I have no control over that and really don’t like that his reaction to it was to take a jab at me.

In retrospect, not the first time. I one time mentioned a coworker had tried to kiss me once (before I even knew him) and his reaction was also to take swings at me personally (said something like “good for you, guess you can still attract old bald guys”)

Tl;dr bf saw a text from a dude I haven’t spoken to in years and lashed out at me, saying my legs need toning. Is this a red flag?

Submitted January 05, 2020 at 02:37PM by Easteuroblondie https://ift.tt/2MVJbp5