My EX (32M) and I (28F) officially separated 6 months ago. He's been with another girl for 4 months, she's moved in and pregnant. He didn't want kids with me after 10yrs.

Hey guys. I have been grieving for the last few weeks over this, crying and screaming into my pillow in bed. I constantly look around for him in public, at work, all the time. I feel obsessed and sick. I feel angry at myself for not getting over this.

(Context:) My ex (32M) of 10yrs was verbally/mentally abusive and gaslighted me (28F) for years. He was still the love of my life. He still is the love of my life. I became miserable and asked him to move out almost a year ago to the day. I did not kick him out, but I was fed up with how he treated me. We were friends with benefits until about March and tried dating again in April. In my mind we've only been broken up 6 months.

I was trauma bonded to him. He saved me from trauma, and then used abuse to control me because it was how I knew love. I have seen therapists, for months this year. I've been on medications. Getting rid of him should have been the best decision of my life. But I wanted everything with him, marriage and children. He said he was never ready, even after 10 years.

I found out he was dating someone else. That's when I noticed obsessive tendencies. Always checking her facebook, asking around about her. Then I found out that after only dating for two weeks, she moved in with him. After being together 4 months, she's pregnant. She's making posts about her "husband." I'm spiraling. I feel worthless. I was not good enough to have children with, to marry. After 10 yrs. This fills my head all day, every day. I know these thoughts are a direct result of his abuse.

I'm hurting. It feels like my soul is breaking apart. I feel a heavy weight in my chest all the time. My confidence is completely broken. Another girl is walking my path. Therapy and medication aren't helping me. I know that once he has a child with this woman, we will never reconnect.

TL;DR: Ex of 10 years abused me so bad mentally that I broke up with him despite still being in love, he quickly had another girl move in with him and she's pregnant. I'm grieving instead of celebrating an asshole being out of my life.

Submitted November 22, 2019 at 04:14AM by eatingless https://ift.tt/2DdoKPb