My [30M] girlfriend [30F] is super "suspicious" and jealous of my best friend's "overly friendly" new girlfriend [29F]. It makes hanging out super awkward, and I'm not sure how to handle this.

Been with gf (will call her Allie) for 2 years. We live together and recently moved to another state for her job.

For some important context, our relationship had a bit of a rocky start. Basically when we met, I was getting over a hangup/crush on a mutual platonic friend (who was unavailable), so Allie was initially a lot more into me than visa versa. Allie could sense I liked this friend, but I denied it. After I continued dating Allie and my feelings grew, I got over the friend....but, she eventually pressed me to admit she was right about the crush, and how I originally felt luke warm about her. This obviously hurt her, and things kind of blew up. We worked through it, but the jealousy, insecurity, and trust issues from this never fully went away. Its been a wedge between us we've been working on through the entire relationship. I've learned to avoid her triggers, and its been mostly OK as of late.

A few months ago my best friend from childhood ( Kevin), told me he was actually moving about an hour away from us. Allie and I haven't made a ton of new friends out here so this was exciting. About a month after he arrived, he met a girl (will call her Jill), who he's been dating since.

About a month ago I met up with Kevin for a concert where he introduced me to Jill for the first time. Allie unfortunately couldn't make it to the show. Jill and I got along really well. I thought she was super nice & cool. She even went up and did an awesome karaoke song + dance at the bar afterwards. Kevin seemed to be on cloud 9 about her. When I got home I told Allie about the show, and about Jill. Kevin is a bit of a character, so I jokingly mentioned I was surprised he landed a catch like that and that I was happy for him. I also boasted about Jill's karaoke performance.

I could immediately sense Allie's suspicion radar went off. She even made a snarky comment like "oh she sounds way cooler than me". This was a familiar routine. I told her to stop being ridiculous and changed the subject. Later that week Jill came up in conversation again, and Allie made another comment. She also asked why I kept talking about her so much. I again told her shes being ridiculous.

Fast forward to 2 weekends ago, Kevin invited us on a camping trip with him and Jill. Allie was initially hesitant due to her already-formed suspicions that I was into Jill or something. We ended up going, and the trip was a lot of fun. Allie and Jill seemed to get along well.

Afterwards I asked Allie what she thought of Jill. She gave a sort of half "yea, she was nice"...I could tell she wasn't being honest. After I pressed, she finally admitted that she "was suspicious" of her, and thought it seemed like she was into me. I reassured her she was imagining things. She said she just seemed overly friendly, and was laughing at all my jokes. And even Kevin commented on how well we got along.

This sparked a bit of an argument. I told her how much it sucks she feels that way since Kevin is a good friend and I want us to all be able to hang out together. But Allie just told me "my suspicions were right when we first started dating, and they're almost always right".

Honestly, in Allie's defense, I can sort of see why Jill could have triggered these feelings. She is very friendly/bubbly/outgoing. And we also seemed to vibe very well together as friends almost immediately. But its nothing more than that (I have told Allie I am definitely not attracted or interested in her as more than a friend), and I really don't think she likes me in that way (And even if she did, it wouldn't matter since we're both taken and I don't like her like that).

But now I feel trapped with no way out of this. Kevin asked us to come out with them for his birthday. Allie agreed, but I could tell she was aprehensive and anxious about it.

I want to be excited to hang out with Kevin whenever. I also enjoy Jill's company as a friend, and want to be able to be comfortable/friendly towards her. But Allie's suspicions & anxiety about her makes hanging out with them ridiculously awkward. I feel like i'll always be walking on eggshells, with her analyzing both of our every moves. But once Allie's "radar" goes off, I have no idea how to pull her out of this. I fear as long as Jill is her usual friendly self, Allie will never warm up to her. I don't know how I can remedy this.

TL;DR - Girlfriend is jealous and suspicious of my best friend's girlfriend. Not sure how I can hang out all together now without it being awkward

EDIT To clarify... I have explicitly told my girlfriend I'm not into Jill and I have no attraction or feelings for her like that. Theres no "maybe" here. We are just friends. Plain and simple.

Submitted November 07, 2019 at 12:47PM by PumpkinTaw https://ift.tt/2WUlxNR