TL;DR at bottom
Hi all! I’m new to this so please bear with me. My (20f) fiancé (24m) have been together for 4 years. Been engaged since June of 2019. His mother (50’s) has always been a huge up in your face I need to know everything kind of mom. Don’t get me wrong she is really nice and her and I have never had any major problems. She is very sensitive but I feel as though she uses that to manipulate me and fiancé. (Mainly fiancé) Anyway, anytime we ever go and visit her she literally has to know everything we are doing. If we go to the grocery store we have to tell her. I get it. It’s respect for letting us stay at her house but she always has to know how much money we spent, what we got and so on. She’s constantly going into fiancé’s bank account and looking to see how much money he has and how much he’s spending. How I know this is she will call him or text and ask why do you have this much less money and so on. Keep in mind my fiancé is 24 years old and we are financially stable. He always makes excuses for his mother which I understand but it’s becoming unbearable. We were back at her house visiting last weekend and she decides she wants to give our dog a bath. He is a 2 pound dog and very fragile. (She always makes him cry because she’s too rough with him. She squeezes him too hard and she’s just too rough) I tell her no that’s fine I prefer to do it myself. Well she keeps insisting that no it’s fine I can do it. She ends up basically drowning the dog in the sink. I keep looking at my fiancé to say something. He doesn’t. I feel like it’s not my place because it’s HIS mother. Well she’s done giving him a bath and now she takes him over by us to dry him. This is where I finally said something. She is being so rough and hard with him that he is crying and screeching in pain. So I had enough and grabbed the dog from her and my exact words were this “I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but you are being too rough with him. He is screaming in pain yet you continue to do what you’re doing. I’m sorry but that’s enough”. I didn’t yell at her I just said it in an upset voice. (I was shocked with how nicely I said it. I felt like I was gonna lose it) Well she throws a fit. I’ve had enough so I tell my fiancé I’m ready to go home (we were leaving that day anyway). I hauled everything to the car and waited for my fiancé. Well he gets in the car after saying goodbye to his parents. He’s not happy with me. He’s upset because he said his mom was bawling her eyes out and that she never meant to hurt the dog. Yet she has ears! She can hear that he’s in pain. There is NO excuse. At this point I’m furious. He didn’t defend our little dog. Or me. This is an ongoing thing. He always puts his moms feelings before mine and even the dogs. I asked him why he didn’t defend me or say something to her about hurting our dog. He said he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I’m lost here. I love my fiancé so much but stuff like this is constantly going on. I don’t want to lose him because of his mother, but it feels like that’s what’s going to happen. I need advice on if there is any way to fix this. I have tried not saying anything, I’ve tried saying something and it’s not not working. Also ended up having to take the dog to the vet late last week because anytime you touch his ears he cry’s. Well he has a double ear infection. I bring up the fact that my fiancé’s mom basically drowned him in the sink and the vet said “yeah that’ll do it”. So he had to get prescription ear drops that I have to give him 2 times a day.
TL;DR: Fiancé’s(24M) Mother (50’sF) is overly sensitive and uses it to her advantage. Fiancé puts moms feelings over mine. Is there any way to keep our relationship?
Submitted September 01, 2019 at 11:46AM by torioreoh https://ift.tt/2UqZs8m
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