My (20F) abusive ex boyfriend (21M) showed up to my house uninvited over a year after breaking up - my mom was happy to see him.

Alright, this is a shit show so buckle up. Really sorry this is so long - summary is at the bottom!

I dated this guy for a year and a half, when I was in high school and a bit after I graduated. In the beginning it was nice - took me on dates, respected me, made me laugh and overall made me feel good.

After about six months of dating, things began to fall downhill. He became disrespectful, especially to my parents. It also turned sexually abusive. Multiple times during the first six months of our relationship he brought up having sex, (I was a virgin), and was never pushy with it. After we had sex for the first time, he expected it of me and made me feel bad for not wanting to do it. When I didn’t want to have sex, he would try to talk me into it by putting my hand on his crotch and telling me “I know you want to”. Other times he would push my head down towards his penis and since we were in his car, it was hard for me to push away from him. It was evident I didn’t want to give him a blowjob, but he would keep doing it.

There was also emotional abuse that occurred. He manipulated me into thinking I shouldn’t have any guy friends, that I was wasting my time pursuing a college education, and lied to me multiple times. Every conversation we had turned into a debate. I finally had enough and broke up with him for good - only to find out he had been cheating on me with an underclassmen at our shared high school.

It got to the point where he was harassing me over text three months after the breakup, claiming I lied to him about why we broke up, calling me promiscuous, making fun of the guys I was friends with or casually dated. I had to block his phone number and his Snapchat. I also unfriended him on Facebook and Instagram. My mom knows this and why I did it.

After we broke up I told my mom everything - besides the blowjob thing - and she kept in contact with him for months without me knowing. She sent him a card on his birthday this year and I found out by opening a letter addressed to my family from him, thanking us. I told her I did not appreciate this or feel comfortable with it, she understood and told me she would stop writing him/texting him once in awhile to see how he was doing.

A few weeks ago, my ex pulled into my driveway and acted like he was welcome in my home. I saw him get out of his car and I went into a panic attack, sobbing and almost throwing up. I just wanted him out of my life. My mom hugged him and talked with him for over an hour while I stayed inside crying on the phone with my current boyfriend. It took my dad to see me crying to get him to leave. I’m hurt that my mom was happy to see him, especially after knowing how terrible that relationship was. I guess I’m just asking for guidance, how should I approach this with my mom so she understands I don’t feel comfortable with her talking to him or him coming to my house? I thought we had established this already, but I guess we haven’t. I don’t know if I can trust her with this type of thing in my life in the future.

TL;DR abusive ex showed up to my house and my mom was happy to see him knowing that he abused me sexually and emotionally - asking for guidance on what to do

Submitted September 04, 2019 at 03:12PM by hea1005 https://ift.tt/2ZIhc43