I just found out that 9 years ago my fiancé bought a ring for a girl he cheated on me with while pregnant with his kids. He claims to not remember making the purchase and he thinks I need to just get over it.

To understand the recent events, you must understand the past that led up to this.

Backstory: I (36F) have been with my fiancé, "Tom" (36M) for 12 years.

9 years ago I found out we were pregnant with twins. He was ecstatic. I was a bit leery because I was still in college and already has a child from a previous relationship.

We discussed how this will change our lives and came up with a game plan for finances for the future because daycare for twins and my other child is so expensive.

He proposed, I said yes, and life went on as usual. He was a great step father to my oldest. Everything was good until the last couple months of the pregnancy.

Tom became very distant and was spending a lot of time with his "friends." Come to find out, he was talking to an 18 year old that we will call "Gina." He swears he only "liked" her but was in love with me and was excited about having a family.

This obviously hurt me more than words can describe. In my eyes, he was cheating on me with a young fresh faced girl and while he left the pregnant whale at home.

After almost a year of fighting, he finally broke things off with Gina several months after the twins were born. We fought because he rarely came to see the kids and spent holidays with Gina and her family rather than his kids/his parents.

It has taken a long time for us to get back to the point where getting married is back on the table because I have serious trust issues because of his relationship with Gina.

Current: A couple months ago while on vacation, I stupidly wore my engagement ring to the beach. Yeah, I lost the ring. He was understandably livid.

I saved up to buy another one. It was a long shot, but I thought maybe there was a chance they still sold the ring. I knew where he bought it. I explained the situation to the clerk and she pulled up his account.

I was very surprised when the clerk asked "Which ring is it?"

Tom never bought me more than 1 ring because I don't wear jewelry aside from the engagement ring. I looked at the date and it was during the time when Gina occupied his attention.

I called him and asked if he ever bought Gina a ring. He said "I don't remember. I dont think so. It doesn't matter because I'm with you now. I'm committed to you. Don't do this this. It was 9 years ago."

We have been really shakey since this happened and I'm trying to figure out what to do. He keeps getting upset because I "went down the rabbit hole" about something from 9 years ago.

My friends/family just started warming up to him again. I can't discuss this with them because if I'm taking this too personally, then the "Tom is a POS" parade starts all over again.

I'm having a super hard time letting this go for 2 reasons: 1) the symbolism attached to a diamond engagement ring. 2) because he claims to not remember.

If he owned his actions, I think I might handle this better. But how do you just "forget" about buying a diamond for someone?

Am I wrong for this? Should I let this go, move on, and get married to him like he says I need to? Or am I right in feeling betrayed all over again.

I seek your wisdom, oh wise Redditors. Please help.

TL;DR: I just found out that 9 years ago my fiancé bought a ring for a girl he cheated on me with while pregnant with his kids. He claims to not remember making the purchase and thinks I need to just get over it. Am I crazy for being upset?

Submitted September 05, 2019 at 01:26PM by ComptrEyes https://ift.tt/34rdpYe