My now ex (22M) broke up with me (21F) because he doesn’t have time for me anymore, but he still "loves" me?

My ex two days ago said “we need to take a break” because there are opportunities that he can’t pass up. Basically, things in his life are aligning and there isn’t space for me in the upcoming several weeks. But he says he still loves me? And still cares about me? I’ve pondered over the situation the last two days and I’m not sure what to think or do.

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I guess the idea popped in his head because several days ago, I finally broke down about my mother (she’s extremely sick and up until then I’d held in how I truly felt) and asked if he could come and comfort me, but he said no because he couldn’t pass up the nth opportunity for studio time (he recently became friends with a new upcoming artist in our city). I said, “okay,” and left it at that because there was nothing else I could do. The next day, he tried reaching out a few times, but I was pretty unresponsive as my feelings were greatly hurt. I’ve always been there when he needed me. All I told him was that he “really hurt my feelings” and then, to my surprise, the next day we were over.

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That’s not what love is, right? I know I’m young and I don’t really know much of anything yet, but how does that show you care about me? Especially since I’m at a really low point in my life (we both suffer from borderline personality disorder and addiction) and he was the only person I could talk to face to face (the majority of my friends live very far from me as I've moved a lot). Now it feels like I have no one. I can’t talk to my family about my issues because of our greatly strained relationship.

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I guess I’m still in shock because I didn’t see it coming, especially since love begs you to be selfless, not selfish. Am I wrong to think what he did is selfish? Should I be blaming myself? Does one really care for another if they were to do what he did? I guess I need advice on how to go about healing because I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust freely again.

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Also, he still wants to be friends and still wants to be in my life. Should I let him? I need all the advice and wisdom possible.

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***TL;DR - My ex couldn't make time for me in the next coming weeks so he broke up with me. But he says he still "loves" me and wants me in his life.***

Submitted May 01, 2019 at 05:54AM by ToPlacesWeDontKnow http://bit.ly/2IXZIsD