My wife has had a male "best friend" for years now - let's call him Carl.
He used to be in a long-term relationship with someone, but after that person left him a few years ago, he kind of clung to my wife - in a platonic way. Both my wife and he don't have many other friends nearby, so they spend a lot of time together.
Our daughter is 1 year old now, and it is very taxing for both me and my wife to look after her. I work all day, so my wife has to manage the brunt of caring for our kid. Naturally, when Carl offers to come over and look after our kid for a couple hours, she always wants to say yes.
Most of the time when I come home, I find Carl playing with my daughter.
Every Thursday and Saturday night, Carl spends the evening drinking with my wife and watching TV - in addition to his random visits throughout the week.
Carl's job is less taxing and he has a lot of free days, so he is free to visit often - sometimes he even comes by our house during his lunch break.
He is good with tools, so when something around the house needs fixing, oftentimes I hear how Carl fixed it while I was at work. Needless to say, I am not happy about this help and prefer to handle things myself. When Carl comes over, he usually enjoys free delivery food, because, according to my wife "it's in exchange for everything he does for us!" - like buying toys and clothes for our daughter.
When he showed up to my wife's family's Easter celebration, I felt like he crossed another line.
Despite my wife saying that she is in no way attracted to Carl, you can probably see why this situation bothers me greatly. She says that she really needs the extra help with the kid - and I can see how much of a relief it is for her. Carl himself has given up on dating, so the chance of him hooking up with someone else and creating a family for himself in the future is 0.
When I tell my wife that I want Carl to visit us less frequently, she responds with one of these:
- "But he loves (daughter's name) so much - He says he misses her terribly!"
- "I only need his help now while she is little - let him help us!" (though she does concede that he probably won't back off on his own anytime in the future either)
- "It's great for her to have "uncle" Carl - He can teach her about technical things and maybe help with her career!"
I feel like my place within the family is under assault and this tension is complicating the relationship with my wife - which used to be perfect, but is currently already strained by becoming parents recently and having very little sleep and free time.
How do you guys feel about my situation and what would you do if you were in my spot?
TL;DR : My wife's "best friend" is intruding into my little family. What to do?
Submitted May 02, 2019 at 05:50AM by Overdrive2000 http://bit.ly/2IUj0z1
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