My grandmother is 88 years old. She lives in Scotland, and my family and I live in Ireland. I’ve had an incredibly stressful few weeks, and it came to a head today.
My father [61M] got out of Intensive Care literally this morning, after having a heart attack. Thank God he’s okay, but obviously he’s on a cocktail of various drugs and has to rest, as heart attacks and heart surgery is very serious.
My grandma is in a home. She isn’t diagnosed with dementia or anything, but she rarely remembers who she’s speaking to, why she’s called etc. She gets very upset because she really has no idea what’s going on.
We can’t afford financially to fly to Scotland very often, but we speak to her everyday and make sure she wakes up to go to her church group etc. Only one of her sons lives in Scotland with her, and he now barely even visits her. Instead, he plays golf because he is retired, and sends his (full time working) wife instead.
My two uncles have already been horrible to my grandma. They have gotten furious at her for phoning them, even though she is desperately lonely and has no idea what’s going on. They have told her to leave them alone, and she was so upset, she attempted suicide. Thankfully, she was too feeble to manage it, and the nurses got there quickly.
My father desperately tried to bring grandma to live with us in Ireland, but my uncle has power over her legally and won’t allow it. They scream at her for being lazy, but they won’t let her out of the house in case she gets lost. The only time she is “allowed” leave is when my uncle and aunt bring her for a walk - and by a walk, I mean they lock her in the car while they go for a walk because they don’t want her to fall.
It all really hit me today, because my father, being the kind soul he is, rang my grandma to speak to her the minute he was released from Intensive Care and brought home. My aunt was in the house also, and the phone was on loudspeaker. The whole house ended up witnessing my aunt screaming (and I mean I have never heard anyone scream like that) at my grandma, while she sobbed and begged my dad to come and get her (she doesn’t always remember he now lives in Ireland).
I cried if I’m honest. My grandma was physically and verbally abused by her husband all her life, and when he died, I was thrilled. Finally, she was free of the abuse at age 82. But now, she’s just being abused by her son and daughter-in-law instead. I’m scared for her, and I’m scared that my dad will have an even bigger heart attack from the stress. He’s meant to be recovering. He only had his heart attack on Thursday.
What can I do? If anything? Is my grandmother being abused? I thought that she could at least have a few happy years before she passed away. Now I’m scared that she’ll take her own life, or perhaps even worse, she’ll live for another 10 years and suffer this for another decade.
What do I do?
Tl;dr - I feel as though my aunt and uncle are abusing my grandmother, and I can’t do anything about it. I’m scared for her and I’m scared that the stress is going to give my dad another heart attack. I need advice on what to do, if indeed I can do anything.
Submitted December 01, 2018 at 10:27AM by throwthrowawayawaypp https://ift.tt/2QxOdLu
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