Tried to open up to my [F21] boyfriend [M20] about a situation involving another guy at work. He left

My boyfriend of 5ish years (we took a break after high school) is generally antisocial and has made a point to never set foot in my workplace, to an extent that it has been inconvenient at times. I’ve worked there for 6 months and as it is a popular and busy restaurant (I’m a waitress) my coworkers and I are a close team. One of them is a guy, we can just call him Guy, that I especially hit it off with and always has my back in small ways. I’ve never thought anything more of it than that, it’s great to have such good people around me after moving back into town in May with no friends.

A few days ago I was cornered by some coworkers with gossip, apparently Guy confessed under pressure that he has a crush on me but would never, ever act on it because I have a boyfriend. But since then a couple of them have asked me how great my relationship could be if my boyfriend never wants to meet my people, is always unhappy (he’s depressed), etc.

Well, it’s not going so great right now, and that’s why I feel like what they said actually kinda got under my skin. It’s not that I would ever consider leaving my boyfriend for Guy, dating a coworker is a no no anyway, but it’s making me uncomfortably aware that I do have other options out there in the world than to stay in this dragging relationship.

Last night my boyfriend came over and through tears I explained it all to him and said I feel like our relationship needs work, especially in the areas of communication. I know very little about his home life by his choice, some days he’s horrendously cranky but will insist to the end of the earth that it’s “nothing.” His response was to completely shut down, I think after I told him what was going on he said maybe 40 words for the rest of the night. Among them were “And that’s why I’m never, ever going in there” when I said if he would just come have lunch with me one day so everyone could see he exists it would shut them up (?) and the other was “I’ve always been afraid that one day my unhappiness would become unattractive to you, now you’re hanging out with happy people all the time and it’s starting.”

I convinced him to stay the night and not drive home upset, I tried to sleep with my arms around him when I could and at one point he rubbed my back. But he woke up and left wordlessly this morning when I asked him what he wanted to do for breakfast.

Is this just fucked? He’s the only guy I’ve dated long term and I feel like I don’t know what’s normal and what’s not. He’s been so down for so long, it is starting to wear me down, but it’s more the refusal to think about or even talk about strengthening what we have that gets to me.

TL;DR: My coworkers have never laid eyes on my boyfriend and some are starting to try to set me up with a Guy that works kitchen. It’s making me evaluate my relationship and when I tried to open up to my boyfriend about wanting more communication he went sullen, silent, and eventually left. Should I have just kept my mouth shut?

Submitted November 18, 2018 at 05:46AM by nightstrollthrowaway https://ift.tt/2zhEdwi