We have been married for 2 years and have a 2 year old child. I don't have many issues with my husband but his anger is one of them. He gets so frustrated that he just loses his mind over the littlest things. It is much like a little kid. Whenever he gets mad or sad he reverts to babyness.
For example, my daughter threw a fit this morning. She's had a fitty last few days. I was still in bed sleeping in a little as I often do when he is off. I heard most of it - she wanted a specific cup and got frustrated trying to communicate it. He tried to calm her down but she wasn't having it. She ran off to her bedroom and started kicking the bed. He followed her in and told her she can do whatever she wants but she can't kick the bed, because that's against the rules. She screamed and cried and he told her to quiet down because Momma was sleeping. She was not calming down. He was getting very frustrated and kept asking her "why do you keep doing this!?? I'm so sick of you acting like this!!!!!!! SOMEONE IS ALWAYS UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING!!!! CAN'T EVER HAVE A GOOD DAY!!" I'm like, oh lord so I turn the light on and start getting dressed to go help him deal with it. He sees I turned the light on (woke up) and yells at her "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!!!!" and stomps away downstairs, while he's huffing and puffing about how no one can ever be happy and someone always has to be upset for no reason and we can't ever have a nice day.
She was too upset to talk with so I just let her throw the fit and went in there if she was kicking the bed to tell her to not. That worked well and she calmed down very quickly. I tried to comfort DH but he turns ice cold whenever he gets in one of these moods and treats everyone like crap. When he finally starts to get over his frustration he expects everyone to act like nothing happened. If I give him any suggestions on how to handle the situation he gets more mad. Which is funny because just the other day when HE was trying to sleep in and she threw a tantrum, he was sending me texts about how I am doing this or that wrong, how "he knows her better than anyone in the world" so I should listen to him, "being inconsiderate for waking him up" (I cannot control if she will cry for a few minutes, she's 2) etc.
The same stuff happens between him and I. Seems like he will randomly get SOOOOO upset at me and it's like 0 to 100. I try to have a discussion with him and he starts stomping his feet, shouting, runs away. It takes him a very long time to get to a point where he can discuss it. Usually I am the one who has to apologize first, try to be uber reasonable and mom like to calm him down.
I have began to wonder if he is maybe on the autism spectrum. Because he just loses his mind and shuts down whenever he is emotional (much like a toddler having a tantrum) and can't see any logic at all. Then treats everyone else's feelings like they are silly and illogical (his favorite word) and is never empathetic to it when he is in a normal state. If he can't rationalize someone else's feelings then most of the time the feelings have no value to him. He also has a few other symptoms like getting completely obsessed with one or two topics and barely leaving his room to do anything but read about them. If anything his autism would be quite mild, he is mostly fine at socializing in other ways. Still, I just don't know what to make of this behavior.
I'm getting really frustrated. I love him and he's great in many other ways but this is exhausting. I'm sick of feeling like I have to walk on egg shells or I randomly frustrate and upset him. It feels unpredictable and sometimes like I have a 2nd child to appease. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Submitted November 18, 2018 at 07:09AM by arkadelfia https://ift.tt/2PFt56v
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