My girlfriend [27F] or 3 years puts no effort into her appearance anymore and I'm [27M] not attracted at all. I feel like an ass and don't know what to do.

When my girlfriend and I met she put a lot of effort into her appearance. She shaved, groomed, wore make-up, worked out, all of that stuff. I do, as well, for the record. Earlier this year the two of us moved to a new state because of my job. Since then, things have changed.

She puts in no effort anymore. Since moving here she has gotten really into the "natural" lifestyle, which means she no longer shaves or wears any make-up. That I wouldn't really have a problem with if she at least put in an effort to keep tidy. She doesn't. Like, not shaving I don't mind. I agree it's not exactly fair that women are expected to be hairless below the eyes and men aren't. But she doesn't even groom at all. Even I trim my pits and make sure the undercarriage is maintained. She also doesn't wash her hair regularly anymore because it's "bad for it." Which I understand the science behind...but she needs to. And it's not just a matter of her hair getting used to the change, she's been doing this for months now and it's still a greasy mess. She wears natural deodorant, which lemme tell you, doesn't work worth a damn. "Good" news is she doesn't work out at all anymore (which has led to some weight gain) but she always has this slight funk about her. Same thing with just plain soap. She started making her own soap and I don't think it works at all because even fresh out of a shower she doesn't smell good, she just smells...earthy.

It's gotten to the point where I feel like I have to force myself to have sex with her and I feel like an ass. I don't want to care this much about appearance, but I guess I do. When we first started dating I was so, so attracted to her. I thought she was hot as hell. And I know things change with time, and I know there is more to relationships than looks, but I can't force myself to be attracted to her.

How do I get over this? I just want to be happy in my relationship, I want things to be how they were. How can I get used to all of these changes?

TL;DR: My girlfriend is now "all-natural" and doesnt' shave, shower, or work out. I can't even muster up a little bit of attraction to have sex with her. I hate that I feel this way and want to change. What can I do?

Submitted November 17, 2018 at 06:40PM by imnotattracted https://ift.tt/2A4zKwo