My [29M] girlfriend [29F] has a strange relationship with food. She's a pretty picky eater, and constantly panics about eating/ordering the perfect food every meal. She's addicted to cheese, and If she doesn't like her meal, she gets viscerally upset to the point where it brings me down.

I've been with my girlfriend about a year and a half. She has a pretty unique relationship with food that leads to a lot of tension and arguments in our relationship.

Its more than the typical girlfriend indecisiveness about picking restaurants (which she definitely does regularly too).

For starters...she's a picky eater. She doesn't think she's a picky eater, but she is compared to most. This was an issue especially at the beginning of our relationship while I figured out what she could have...as I'll eat almost anything, and love to cook. There are lots of "criteria" for what she'll eat and won't. No broccoli, but she'll eat cauliflower. No whole/sliced/diced tomatoes but she'll eat it in sauces. Nothing pickled. No peppers. Nothing even remotely spicy. No salads. She'll eat cooked spinach but not raw. The list goes on. Pretty standard on their own...but they all add up to a lot of restrictions.

She has a strong aversion to certain food textures. Those textures are impossible to predict. This makes it very difficult to figure out what she will and will not eat...as the preparation has to be just right for her to enjoy it. For example I made her a chicken Quesadilla once that she didn't like because "the chunks of chicken are too big".

Its very stressful trying to cook for her as you can imagine.

The strange thing is, she'll eat Tarantula from Cambodia...or Indian food...but then turns her nose up at something pretty normal. And often its not consistent from meal to meal,.

She has a strange obsession with cheese and potatoes. Actually I think she might be physically addicted to cheese. Almost every single meal she needs to have loads of cheese on it or she isn't happy. If I make a meal that tastes delicious, she'll tell me "yea its good but it would be better with cheese on it". Every time she cooks its packed with cheese.

She has a weird thing with green vegetables. The only veggies she really eats are potatoes, corn, peas and sometimes spinach. But anything green she will never finish them on her plate. If I give her 10 pieces of broccoli, she'll eat 5. If I give her 5 pieces of broccoli, she only eats 2.

Oh also, when she serves food or I serve it the amount of the portions has to be exactly equal if it’s something she likes. She goes so far as to count individual mushrooms to ensure we get the same amount.

When she doesn't like a food, its a very dramatic thing. She twists her face and makes noises of disgust. She has to make it known she doesn't like it.

On top of the preferences, she seems to get extreme anxiety about ordering at restaurants. I'll ask her what shes in the mood for...of course she says "I don't care, whatever you want". But then she gets upset if we pick a place she doesn't like.

It takes her forever to order as she's incredibly indecisive. She won't order without knowing what I'm getting myself. And she worries about every little detail of the meal. After she orders she worries about whether she'll like it or not - almost like a panic.

But the icing on the cake is if she doesn't like a meal she ordered out, she gets viscerally and inconsolably upset. Sure, when I order something I don't like I'm bummed...but I eat it and move on with life. But with her, she falls into this pit of extreme disappointment and despair. She looks like shes going to cry when it happens. Then gets frustrated, saying things like "I fucked up...I should have gotten.." but in a very angry and upset way. When this happens its almost impossible to even enjoy my meal since she's miserable and I have to calm her down. She stays upset and bitter about it for sometimes hours afterwards.

As you can imagine, this is all very frustrating and exhausting. I don't really understand where it comes from or how to help her out of it. I've talked to her about it, but she doesn't necessarily see any problem.

Any suggestions?

TL;DR My girlfriend has a weird relationship with food where everything needs to be perfect or she gets upset. And she's addicted to cheese. Its bringing me down and bumming me out.

Submitted November 01, 2018 at 07:17PM by PumpkinTaw https://ift.tt/2RtsNvQ