TL:DR Lonely 24 M struggling to feel optimistic about future
Hi guys. I've been in a malaise (up and down) for the last week or so and I'm struggling to feel optimistic about anything. Just to be clear, I'm most certainly not suicidal right now or feel like I'm about to become suicidal. But an intrusive thought keeps popping into my head that all the signs are pointing to me eventually killing myself, that this is what all the stress and the problems are heading towards.
I'm a second year masters' student at a very prestigious graduate school. I'm currently in the process of writing my masters' thesis but I'm already technically behind schedule. Even though I've extended my homework hours to try to do thesis work every day, I never seem to be able to get enough of it done. I like my topic and my advisor and I have a regular homework schedule, I just can't seem to get my mind around it.
I have no friends. I get along with most of the people in my program, but we never do anything together anymore, I think because everyone is in the same boat as me because of the thesis. We used to have some social activities, but I was dumb in my first year and didn't go to them while they were still happening.
Because of this, I have no romantic prospects and basically never have. I'm still a virgin. I've tried online dating but I don't seem to get much interest, and it's starting to feel pointless.
I've been trying to get out more (which I stupidly didn't in my first year), but I can't do much during the week because of class/homework/thesis which is when college events are scheduled. I have a little time on the weekends but it's hard to plan when I'm so busy during the week, plus I honestly just like having time to myself at home (I live in a major city but most really interesting attractions are a half hour or so away).
Submitted November 04, 2018 at 08:51PM by salvagejavelin https://ift.tt/2zvdlIn
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