One of my [41M] old friends [40?M] is rude on behalf of his controlling wife [30s?F], should we end the friendship?

I don't know if this is the place for such a question so if it's not, let me know and I'll repost elsewhere.

TL;DR: Friend's jealous and controlling wife is likely inciting him to say rude and demeaning things to other female friends in order to boost her confidence. Should we ditch him?

I've been friends with this guy for probably fifteen years at least. About 3 years ago, he met his (now) wife. She started her relationship with our group of friends by forbidding him to hang out with one friend based on the fact that said friend's wife is younger than her and very attractive. Of course, this wasn't very well received and we all saw her in a pretty bad light after that. But almost immediately after he said he had confronted her on her odd behavior, she suddenly announced that her birth control had failed and she was pregnant with his child. Being the overly conforming type of guy he is, he promptly married her.

We have put some distance between us but he still comes around for things like our kids' birthday parties, Superbowl or New Years, etc. And at her direction (presumably, since he NEVER did things like this beforehand at all), he will make underhanded and derogatory comments about our wives, either to us (husbands) or to their faces while she sits smugly spectating.

For instance, my wife recently had a haircut she didn't like; it was way too short for her and she was really insecure about it and told everyone. The last time they visited, the friend said, "It's good to see you're growing your hair out. Don't ever cut it off like that again -- that was NOT attractive." And went on to add that he loved his wife's "beautiful long hair that she'll never cut off". It was so unlike him that I was kind of speechless. My wife is a former model and has managed to stay in great shape; she puts a lot of effort into her appearance and health and it shows. She has NEVER been in any way "not attractive" regardless of the length of her hair. His wife, just as a comparison, is about 4'10 and weighs, just a guess, about 250 lbs. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, as our friends come in all shapes and sizes, but him feeling the need to say something so untoward to my wife is definitely wrong.

It's not the only incident, either. There have been several. One of our friends has an older daughter who's probably about 20. My friend, in front of his wife, as usual, looked at this perfectly healthy looking girl and said, "Wow, you're like a skeleton. Eat something for godsakes. Guys like women with a little more meat on their bones!" The kid is not underweight at all, just a normal healthy looking young woman.

Because of his wife's past behavior (I gave one example but she was extremely paranoid about other female friends as well, accusing them of looking at or talking to my friend too much and similar things, constantly) and the fact that this is not something we've ever seen out of our friend in the past, we think she's demanding or expecting that he insult other women to "prove" that she is the one for him, lest she divorce him and take him for all he's got or something. I always really liked the guy but this sudden change in personality is making me hate him. I seriously wanted to punch him for playing on what we all know was a big insecurity for my wife like that. It was fucked up.

Should we just move on and start excluding this guy, or talk to him about it, or what?

Submitted August 28, 2018 at 11:47PM by LastOTheRealOnes https://ift.tt/2MzTVeI