throwaway account
I think I'm finally giving up. I (F19) have been my boyfriend's (M20) rock and support through some of the toughest times of his life. My family took him in after he became homeless as a result of his family situation. He owes me hundreds of dollars spent on his habits. I was more than willing to put up with it. He would have meltdowns, and a couple of times they would turn violent. I forgave him like a total fucking idiot my god. He wouldn't communicate with me at all, would regularly invite a female friend without telling me to go hang out with him in his room, and then proceed to get mad at me for telling him to at least let me know beforehand. He was pushy in bed and if i didnt do what he wanted hed have a meltdown or ignore me all night. I prefer to see myself with an undefined gender, but he would only compliment my feminine features and would have a meltdown if i appeared more masculine (e.g. wearing heels that put me taller than him). Throughout all of this I asked him to better himself and work on his bad habits so that he would be able to "take care of me properly" (in his words). He would apologise everytime and every single time id be left just feeling numb for forgiving him. I've lost all of my hobbies and personality. I am a hollow person. I think I want to break it off. At the same time, we have great chemistry as friends. Our humour clicks and we enjoy the same games. He gets along great with someone very close to me, and is a great source of support for them. He always calls me beautiful, and he feels like home to me still. I miss him. The sweet, funny guy I fell in love with feels like a delusion. I know I've been running away from my problems by just letting my boyfriend have his way and not properly holding him accountable. I don't know what to do. I dont know if im ready to not have my home anymore but im losing my mind with things staying the way they are.
TLDR: I'm unsatisfied with the way my boyfriends been treating me, but hes still my best friend and comfort. Should I leave him or is there still hope?
Submitted February 11, 2023 at 09:07AM by therearenomoreuser https://ift.tt/o1eVOQS
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