My gf has been a little distant for a while and getting angry at small things. We've both been under a lot of work-related stress and the winter months havent been great, we havent been able to go out and have fun together.
I booked us tickets to a concert a few weeks ago but wasnt able to go due to work, I wanted her to enjoy herself so she went without me and had a great time. She said she missed going out and wants to go out more with her friends, which I understood and was fine with.
She went out a few weekends ago and came back late, I trusted her, so didnt think anything of it, just asked normal questions and was happy she enjoyed herself. The following weekend, she went out again on the Friday and Saturday until late. I felt a little concerned, but again tried not to be a jealous partner and support her being her own person, releasing some stress by dancing and talking with friends. Then, I started thinking, I know most of these friends, why did my gf not invite me to join any of these nights out? One night, sure, maybe they wanted girls only, but 2 nights in a row where the option of me joining wasnt even on the table? Red flag.
I confronted her and asked her to be honest with me. She told me that at the concert, she met someone that she felt some attraction to and exchanged phone numbers (this isnt too unusual, her job means that she does a lot of self-promotion and often shares her instagram and contacts with people she meets). They have been texting for a couple of weeks and, these nights out with friends, she invited him and his friends to join, not me. She insists that nothing physical happened, that it was just friends hanging out with friends, but I'm struggling to believe this, she already lied to me about these nights out.
She says she wants to make things work and that she is sorry she let things get so far with the guy, but, she wanted to spend time with him, she chose to invite him and not me. Her reason was that she thought I didnt want to go out because we havent gone out together in so long, mostly this is due to lack of good communication between us. We've been struggling a bit to rekindle our spark and excitement, falling into a bad routine, and working a lot makes it difficult. I think she missed that, and was enjoying the attention from a new person. I dont think this is an excuse for what she did and neither does she. She seems to be genuine in her apology and telling me the truth. I told her she has to cut all contact with this person and block him, which she agreed, she wants to make things work and feels remorse for her actions. I'm not sure how to deal with all this, and the fact her friends were apparently cool with her inviting some random guy along doesn't sit right with me either, those aren't good friends imo.
TLDR: long-term relationship lost a bit of spark, gf enjoyed attention from someone new, met up with them "as friends" multiple times and lied about it. She is remorseful and wants to make things work, find ways to connect again, I am struggling to process the lying.
Submitted February 21, 2023 at 02:31AM by throwtotheaway27 https://ift.tt/lNRVvhs
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