My (26F) husband (31M) is autistic and when I talk about work he rocks, looks distressed and makes noises that cut off my story. It makes me uncomfortable/anxious and I feel unheard. I told him this and now he’s furious, saying I’m asking him to mask in his own home

My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years, together for 5

Last year he was diagnosed with autism, which he never suspected he had until recently

He’s normally very easygoing and masks “well,” but since discovering his autism and speaking with a therapist he’s been trying to get rid of his masks and he himself

He’s accepted some things like rocking, making some noises, flailing when excited and some other things I can’t think of. He doesn’t try to make any friends or tag along on social outings. I’m not trying to water down autism or anything, I’m just trying to get to my point

Every time I talk about my family or things my husband finds interesting, he’s engaged and serious and involved in fascinating discussion. But when I talk about something he’s not interesting in, typically my job, he will start to look rather distressed and rock and just grunt at me as I tell my stories

It’s really bothering me, if I’m honest. I expect his attention and compassion and curiosity, as he otherwise is, but when I talk about my own job and stories, he acts differently

Is it selfish to want him to stop? How can I best accept him? I spoke with him about this and he yelled at me (which is unlike him)

tl:dr: husband responds to my stories with some of his autistic behaviours, as he described, and says I’m shaming him and he’s horribly offended. How can I navigate this? His rocking and grunting replies to my stories about work is making me feel unheard

Submitted February 24, 2023 at 12:49AM by sunflowerlurker https://ift.tt/rG6d3LV