My (27M) girlfriend (29F) has cut contact for the weekend after talking about insecurities. I am thinking about ending the relationship.

We've been together since October. When we first got together, I told her I had a very small history (almost 3 years ago now) with a friend of mine, and she got very quiet. We ended up in a pretty big argument over that.

Ever since we started dating, I've been extremely frustrated by how she handles hard conversations. She told me that she has a habit of closing herself off and pushing people away. I told her I'd work with that if she did too. But she has repeatedly cut contact out of nowhere only to come back the next day and talk it out.

It hurts really fucking bad when she cuts contact out of nowhere. It led me to feel like I had to walk on eggshells around her not to upset her and trigger another episode of not hearing from her for a day or two. It feels like a punishment and it sucks because I never know why she's upset until a day or so later when she finally decides to talk about it. Until then, I'm sitting there hurt and sad and upset.

A month and a half ago, I was playing Balder's Gate 3 (a game she gifted me) with a friend. He and I ended up playing through some content that my girlfriend and I hadn't played through. Originally when he and I started playing, I didn't think about it being a big deal. But when I told her we were playing the game, she got quiet again. I realized that this was possibly going to turn into another instance of her shutting down and going cold for a day or two.

I lied to her about not seeing any new content with my friend. It was a really fucking stupid and small thing to lie about, and I'm not proud or happy about it, but it happened.

When the truth came out later, she was upset with me and said she couldn't trust me anymore. I felt like trying to tell her that I lied to avoid feeling punished through silence was me just making excuses for my behavior, so I didn't press that point.

But, yesterday, it happened again. I got off of work and she was silent. Said she wanted the night to herself. Today, she comes out and tells me that she thinks I'm sleeping with other people behind her back. (I'm not.) I tried to talk to her about it but she said the conversation didn't help her feel better because she couldn't trust anything I say, apparently. For some context, this is a sensitive thing for her because her last ex apparently cheated on her the whole way through the relationship.

I haven't slept with anyone else while I've been with her. I don't know how to talk to her about it if she doesn't feel she can trust what I say. I think it might be time to end things because it feels like neither of us are really happy. What should I do?

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tl;dr: Girlfriend keeps going cold and non-contact, I get frustrated, she doesn't have trust. What should we do?

Submitted February 24, 2023 at 12:03PM by Aerosteel https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/11b0l05/my_27m_girlfriend_29f_has_cut_contact_for_the/?utm_source=ifttt