Id been dating this woman for about 14 months. We are both 27. I love and care for her deeply. But I can't help but feel we met at the wrong time I'm not sure.
We broke up mutually. Due to me being a bit distant in the past few months. Thinking about where our relationship was going and if we were right for each other.
We got along so well. She was my best friend. She was so supportive of me. As I'm ill at the moment and trying to find the right treatments for my illness.
So it's been tough. As I've had to put all my money aside for private docs and treatments. Meaning I haven't had money to do fun things with her. Buy her fancy things or go away together.
Why I became so distant the past few months, I was worrying a lot thinking I'm too ill to maintain the relationship, but there were other little reasons I'll talk about too. But I needed to focus on saving and getting the treatment done. She said shes happy to stick by me through it.
But I felt so guilty. I felt like I was dragging her along. It's her first relationship too. So she struggles a bit with the relationship side of things.
Like her not being open...like at all. She always seemed so down in life. As she's not landed the career she'd hoped and instead is working in retail. She feels lost in life she told me. I felt like she was depressed but didn't want to tell me.
She also told me about her issues with her dad abandoning her. And explained it's caused her to struggle being open and trusting of others. Also fear of abandonment.
I felt like because of this she was always holding back with us. Like she was afraid of jumping in the deep end with me and keeping me at a distance. She'd say "I do this incase things don't work out".
She's such a lovely person minus these struggles that affect her. She's been there for me through a few ups and downs the past year...more downs due to my illness.
We also had a hiccup as we are both Christians. She was shocked that I believed in evolution. But we found a middle ground and moved on.
She overthinks all the time might I add. And is introverted. So she got a bit in her head and started to overanalyze our relationship and said things like we don't have much in common too. And self sabotage.
Made me realise we really don't. But to me that's not the be all and end all of a relationship. But it made me overthink too and I became even more distant worried she was about to break up with me.
I got so lost in overthinking mode and forgot her birthday. Which really pissed her off and I felt terrible. And tried to make it up to her but she said "you don't care about me" "you've not been yourself recently".
I didn't realise how distant I truly was being. I just felt like I couldn't get close to her anymore. It was like more walls went up in front of her...trusting me less and less.
I felt lost and didn't know what to do. As I didn't want to lose her. But eventually coming up to valentine's. She said "hey this is my first valentine's I want to dress up and do something fancy". I said we can for sure but let's save money and do it the following day as I have to save as much money as I can for my treatments.
She went off to tell me how I'm not considering her feelings. I got a bit mad and called her selfish for not thinking over my point about saving as it's expensive on valentine's.
She got really annoyed by this. So we mutually broke up due to these things. But I can't help but think did we give up too soon? Or was it just not the right time in our lives for us to be happy together.
TL;DR We do have a lot going on in our lives. But with some space im not sure if we gave up too soon on the relationship.
Submitted February 15, 2023 at 07:51AM by Jayse9000 https://ift.tt/inl512J
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